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I'm gonna rant.

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GaryK:

--- Quote ---OK if I rant back?

Been there and done that, GK.  

I didn't ask to believe.  There are many days I wish I didn't.  I understand what you are going through.  It's the whiny, self-serving bull as I lived through.  Nothing new.

In my travels, I've only encountered three possible 'true scenarios'.  1.  There is no God and all this is random.  2.  There is a God, and He is a dithering, finger-waggling, sadistic, weak *******.  3.  There is God and I am not Him.

Consider that a hug, Gary.  That's the best I can do.
DAVE
--- End quote ---

Rant away Dave.  I did.  Fair is fair.

I didn’t ask to believe either, a long time ago now it’s been, and like you nowadays I wonder why the stretching out this long.  What possible purpose could he have for a piddly whiner, self-serving complainer as I am?  Having said that, and as I said prior, I’m looking over option number 1, perhaps leaning toward #2, but, to put it in musical genre, I’ll take door #3.  If it’s good enough for that musical philosopher Mr. Buffett, it’s good enough for me.
  
And you’re right Dave, I’m not him either.  Good philosophy to seriously incorporate in my tiny mind and heart.  

And for those who’ve never listened to Buffett before the commercialism got him, get the A1A album and enjoy the finer genius of the man and his music.  Every song.  Especially “door #3”.

Ps: Thanks for the hug Dave.

gk

--- Quote ---as with anything else it's usually to open our eyes to something we don't see and that can be different for each and every one of us.  
 He is still merciful and did not leave me or forsake me.......
there was a period of time when I had no light whatsoever and felt dead inside....that's a worse death than anything I've ever been through physically and I promise you it's tormenting and a different type of pain than physical pain......I'm so thankful He is merciful!!  

So, rant all you want, scream, kick the wall, whatever.......I know how you feel but, that too shall pass and His will WILL be done....

16  Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

He does NOT get offended when we have these kinds of questions and even when we get angry with
Grace
--- End quote ---

Thanks Grace.  I hope it is true that’s it to open an eye.  If anyone would know I need it, it’s him and him alone, and now’s the time.  Now’s the time.  I don’t feel the light or the love, or the mercy anymore.  I feel anger.  But that’s always the way it’s been, anger first, rationale to come after a bit of thinking.

If he’s offended, he’s offended.  I’m reminded of Job.  

16 looks good right now from where my boots are standing.  Believe I’ll study on that a while.

Thanks Grace.

gk


--- Quote ---I certainly feel ya, GK, I don't for a moment judge you for how you feel as I go through these same spills. That being said, this may not seem true to you at this time, but it is true nonetheless: God loves that 16-month old baby far more than you do, and far more than its parents did. It doesn't sound plausible considering the circumstances, I know. When I am having similar thoughts & feelings as you are right now I try to reflect on what Paul said to the Romans:

"Why, what we now suffer I count as nothing in comparison with the glory which is soon to be manifested in us." (Rom 8:18)

Whatever's coming, beginning in the next age, has got to be amazingly, overwhelmingly, a-w-e-s-o-m-e if what we all suffer here now is "nothing in comparison"!      


Hope this helps. Godspeed,

Christopher  
--- End quote ---

I’m not a crying man Christopher, never have been.  

I cried 3 times yesterday:

1-watching the wife speak with shaking hands and heart over her husband

2-seeing the news of the baby

3-reading your words, here:  “God loves that 16-month old baby far more than you do,”

Bless those who live and die in the heat, sweat and stink of the ‘war’ in the middle east sorting out what seems to be un-sortable.  I cry for them too, just in heart tears.

Thanks Christopher.

gk




--- Quote ---Psalms 51:6, Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.


Joel
--- End quote ---


Thanks Joel.  I’ll also be studying on Psalms 51:6.   And perhaps some wisdom will be revealed to my dim eyes and spirit.

gk



--- Quote ---I believe there is a God because I cannot make myself believe there is not a God.   I refuse to be stupid…. Therefore, I am left with the conclusion that there is a sovereign God.
--- End quote ---

I’m with you John, neither can I myself do any of the same.


--- Quote ---God and good I can easily understand.

God and evil?  I cannot as easily make the connection.  Apparently, from the scriptures, a knowledge of good and evil is a necessary requisite to have a mind like God.  If we were just told about evil, or just read about it in a book, apparently we wouldn't understand it.  Therefore, it is necessary for us to experience evil in order to truly understand it.  God is rubbing evil in our faces, both individually and mankind as a whole, for us to truly understand evil.
That is good enough for me right now.

John
--- End quote ---

Ditto on Craigs comments.  True perspectives.  And it should be good enough for me.  Apparently I’ve lost something to have it be that way, was at one time, now it’s not.  I don’t understand it myself, but clearly the wisdom is lacking.

Thanks John.

gk



--- Quote ---Wow gk...I still think that......I can't get my head around God doing evil- yet I see it in scripture-He created evil...yes this story was heart breaking, but billions of children have had horrific lives and deaths since the dawn of time...so have all people.

 gk thank you for ranting and loving us to share that w/ us---many wouldn't have been so honest.
--- End quote ---

Neither can I gmilk, but honest it is, or at least I try to be, but also, and as pointed out, dumb, selfish, self-serving, part of the problem, that too.  Which I’ve never seen it from that perspective.  

Humble pie is like revenge, best served cold.

gk



--- Quote ---Wow...gk, you put into words the thoughts that have swirled relentlessly back and forth through my head for a very long time. Doubts that drown the faith I so desperately want to have firmly planted in my soul, but seems to be hanging on by a waterlogged wisp of a root. Times when I am struggling hardest with my personal tests and trials, I have begged God not to let my lose all faith in Him.  So often, I feel I'm not even a hairs breadth away from bitter, cynical, utter disbelief.

I am going to pray that for you, for the family of that sweet baby and all who are affected.
--- End quote ---

  

Exactly.  Moxicarose, thank you.

gk



--- Quote ---What we see is part of the problem because we don't see it correctly. No what we see is the baby being sucked up in a whirlwind and crushed into the ground. We don't see it right. Our perspective is all screwed up because we don't have "eyes to see" it like God does. We see everything through a cloud of crap.

I do think that the valley you believe you are in is not a valley at all, no Sir, it's a meat grinder. A flesh ripping, crushing, destroying meat grinder.
--- End quote ---


Perhaps you are right Stacy, not a valley at all, but it sure has felt like one for the longest time.   And you are certainly right about the flesh ripping crushing, destroying meat grinder……….and perhaps too, that is EXACTLY what is being done.  

From a ‘spiritual’ perspective, just maybe the ripping away of the flesh, however painful and disorienting it is, is what has been prescribed.  

gk




--- Quote --- HE WILL MAKE IT RIGHT!
--- End quote ---

Thank you Kat.  Your faith inspires.   Your words are always uplifting and you always seem to place a special perspective on how to look at some of the grieving problems we face, together, all of us, in this world.  And you’re right, our perspective is so small and clouded.   Thank you for Ray’s words on the matter.   Your words aren’t wasted, and neither are Rays words.   For all to soak in, as much as for me.

gk



--- Quote ---Hi gk,

So you are at the point of "hanging up your cleats."  What does that mean?  Where you gonna go?  Sorry to tell you but there is no hiding place.  Even if you have lost faith and claim to no longer believe in God, you still can not change one thing about your existence and experience in this life.    

Faith is a gift from God.  My best advice for you is to pray and beg God for more faith .  The way I see it, the only way we can have peace of mind in this world is to know in our hearts that God is in control and all things are as they should be at this time.  

Just trying to keep it real.  

René
--- End quote ---

Where am I going to go?   You’ve said it and already know there is nowhere to…..go.  So do I.  If I ‘hang up my cleats’, that’s exactly what he intends.  If he intends other, that’s exactly what I’ll do, and you and everyone else knows it.
  
Your words are right Rene, faith is a gift from God.  I once believed, and have said this before in another posting, ‘my’ faith had faulty wiring and from that I learned, and I believe Ray has said this in one and several of his papers that true ‘faith’ is from God.  We don’t generate it, he gives it.
  
Funny how you put this Rene, really, you just threw my perspective into a tow-head.   The complainer doing the complaining and whining is asking for ‘faith’ from his shrinking God and complaining that none is given.

Pretty small minded.  Pretty sad.

Thanks for the straight shootin words Rene.  No really.

gk




To all:  I'll leave with this and then you can lock-er up. 

I pray no offense to anyone, and I ask for none.  When I rant like this it takes some of the pressure away from the most obtrusive elements that cloud the heart.   I know each of you have felt the same.  I try not to get mouthy too much on this forum, or at all for that matter, but just try to sit back and read what each of YOU say on topics.   But sometimes things just get the better of me.  Hope you understand.

Ray and his teachings, Dennis, the forum moderators and this forum have been a god-send.   And Ray in his papers warned sometimes the truth is tough.  He was right. We all know that.


To make a lighter note, they say music calms the savage beast so last night I did something I haven’t done in a long while.   I went out to the barn, dusted off the amp, cranked her up, and whipped out the Les Paul.   I also whipped out a couple shots of whiskey.  A long time coming on that part and a long time to regret that part too, I'm sure.   But Dickey, me and the brothers flew around in the ‘blue sky’, bowed our heads to ‘elizabeth reed’ and ‘rambled’ over on 'poney boy' to see the skynyrd boys in ‘sweet home alabama’.  Ripped some good leads on ‘call me the breeze’ and gave a nod to the child and the husband with ‘freebird’.  

Music does calm the savage beast.  Even the horses were dancing and running…………mostly running.

Sorry about the messy of messes I’ve made here with this one folks. Keep it in your mind.


Here's another perspective I'm learning:   “The shoes don’t make the man”.  Clint Black

Peace to all.  Thanks to all who've felt the kindness.

gk  

Dave in Tenn:
With Gary's encouragement, I'll locker 'er up. 

Wish I could have been in the barn with you.  Do good.

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