> General Discussions
Losing the will to live... Feels like I was born in Hell
Rhys 🕊:
An excellent passage and very true but which one of us is the wolf then. If you wish to claim I am one then go ahead but I'm glad I know who my God is and where it comes from concerning my posts.
As Ray says whenever we pretend to be Christ like and it's all a charade we are guilty but you should make sure who you are pointing the finger at if you wish to judge others here.
thewatchman:
Pierdut,
I posted this on another thread and decided to re-post it here because I think it may help.
I look back over my years as a Christian. I had wonderful teachers. I was never taught rapture and nonsense like that. I was taught that the flesh needed to die, but no-one could ever show me how, probably because they didn't know either. I think very few people actually do. I would beg God, plead, try to bargain, Read my word, chant scriptures trying to convince myself I was more able than I really was. Cloak myself with condemnation. I thought the hard times were a reflection of my own unworthiness and a punishment for fleshly thought and actions. I never knew that the very trials I was lamenting were in fact my answers to prayer that I was seeking. The trials were about me learning to overcome and my lack of understanding and carnal mind never understood. That only comes with a 'rhema' moment when God reveals. Since my moment, I have learnt to come into agreement with these trials and receive them with gladness as well as I can and I have changed more in the last 4 years than my entire previous 35 year walk.
I have repented of judging myself unrighteously and condemning myself. No longer given to self-pity, which isn't really one of the fruits of the spirit. I now know that his word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path....not a hundred steps down the path, but right where my feet are. For my next step. We need to pay more attention to the moment we are in so that we can benefit from it and not be constantly looking ahead so that we don't trip needlessly. If we don't learn the lesson now for today, we will have to go through it again and that's a wasted opportunity. It isn't my choice or your choice what God chooses to deal with each day. You just can't decide how you are going to change. That's not your right. We are just the clay. The purpose comes from the potter. You will sin in other areas, but concentrate on what God is dealing with. he will get to those other areas in his own time. If he's not bent out of shape then you shouldn't be either. Don't intentionally hurt others if you have it in your power not to. There is no excuse for behaving badly, but neither is there any condemnation either.
I hope this helps you all have your 'rhema' moment. be encouraged
God Bless 8)
cjwood:
evidently john, you believe any and all who show compassion and mercy to those in need on this forum are "religious hobbyists", seeing how that is who ray was speaking about. i do not agree with you on this one john. not at all. we are called to love and forgive others. where is your agape love?
we do not all have the strong-arm type of personality as you john. does that make us weak in your eyes? are we not all made by the same Potter?
claudia
p.s. no worries mods. no more public comments to jfk on this matter.
ez2u:
i have yell at God in my time too, of the fire " what the hell are you doing" it was silly when i knew what He was doing. the real work is not easy but good
Pierdut:
--- Quote from: John from Kentucky on October 16, 2013, 12:55:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: Pierdut on October 15, 2013, 09:24:48 PM ---I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Why does God hate me so much? After all, did He not create me? Why would God create something He hates? I never asked to be born; now I'm just looking to find a way out. I just can't win; I try and try and things just constantly go wrong in my life - I can't catch a break. My life consists of seeing other people have what I never will - I will never be happy, neither in this life nor the next (if such exists, and I hope it doesn't). You can't comprehend the misery I feel, the hopelessnes, and the rage.
I tried coming to God for help, but that too was in vain. Either He doesn't exist, or He doesn't care, and just hates me, and therefore gets pleasure out of my suffering.
There is no worse feeling than trying and trying, and giving it all you got only to fail time and time again. It's as if some mysterious force was working against me not letting me succeed in life. So what can I do? What's the point of laboring 10 hours a day 5 days a week, and then putting in 6-7 hours on Saturday when it's all for nothing? Really what is the point?
I don't care if you laugh; saying "what a loser" or whatever. It is not for lack of trying - I am not lazy, I am just cursed. Something won't let me succeed, and it is beyond my ability to do something about. So what am I supposed to do? I've prayed, I've tried to repent, and it all just seems like it was in vain.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---I don't know why God hates you. I can't speak for Him. But I could easily come to hate you.
--- End quote ---
Good, then hate me... see if I care.
--- Quote ---Listen to yourself. You whine, moan, and complain about how bad things are for you.
--- End quote ---
Yes, because like I said; I believe God is working against me, not letting me succeed. What can I do against God? I can't take him on.
--- Quote ---Million and millions of people alive on this Earth suffer a lot more than you.
--- End quote ---
Maybe you should hate them too, then; for having the 'gull' to complain about their suffering.
--- Quote --- But you don't give others a thought because you are so filled with yourself.
--- End quote ---
So you're a mind-reader too now? You don't know what's in my head pal to say such a thing.
--- Quote ---Be a man. Grow up. You are not the center of the universe.
--- End quote ---
I am a man. I am grown up. And I never claimed to be 'the center of the universe. ' I just came to the conclusion that God is working against me, and I would like to know why, and what I can do to make it stop.
--- Quote ---Have you ate a meal today? Do you have a place to sleep at night? Count your blessings because many do not have what you have.
--- End quote ---
Like I said in my original post; I work long hours, so yes I have food to eat and a place to sleep, but don't think I've never been without. Just recently I had to sleep in the truck in the same clothes I worked a ten hour shift in then go back to work like that the next day. I had to move out of my apartment due to an infestation... now I rented a room with a stranger just to have a place to sleep, shower, and change.
--- Quote ---Find someone or something to give to. Expect nothing back in return. As you have the strength, try to break the cycle of selfishness you are mired in.
--- End quote ---
I have given to the homeless and the poor. I gave this one homeless man an ashtray full of mostly quarters that I happened to have in my vehicle; he began to tear when he saw how much I gave him because he couldn't believe it. I am not selfish, you are wrong about me; in fact I am very generous and merciful.
--- Quote ---Many here will give you a syrupy false love, kissy, kissy. May God give you a swift kick in the butt and bring you to repentance and let you see yourself as you are.
--- End quote ---
I do see myself as I am; I know quite well what my flaws are and what my sins are, but selfishness isn't one of them. And God's been giving me a lot more than a kick in the butt - you don't know what I've gone through pal... I explained some of it in my introduction thread.
--- End quote ---
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version