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I feel so alone
lilitalienboi16:
Truly, you all here are the only ones who understand me. My family does not understand me, my lover does not, the world does not. Jesus wasn't joking when He said
Luke 21:17 "And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake."
Mark 13:13 "And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved."
My world is crumbling around me and not a single person understands how I am who I am in the midst of it all. My own flesh and blood brother said its so easy to hate me because of it. To be angry with me.
Part of me is ashamed to share this with you all, I don't know why. I feel like i'm always burdening you all with my life and you all seem so strong compared to me. Maybe I am simply fragile emotionally. I don't know..
My lover has told me that there is nothing I Have done wrong, that I am a good man, that I am good to her and her daughter but that my touch makes her angry for some reason. She cannot be close to me, feel intimate with me because the love is gone but she says it is absolutely none of my doing. And she has no clue why she feels this way towards me, she claims she doesn't understand it.
I have never felt more alone...
Psalm 143:3 "Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help."
If there is any prayer that I would have answered it would be that the Lord does not dismantle the family I (Well that HE has) have built (through me) over these past few years, that somehow my lover could get past whatever it is that is making her angry to my touch and feeling far removed from me.
The rest is as it has been since the beginning, minus the revelation that I'm easy to hate.
Your brother,
Alex
P.S. Yes... i'm still working on applications but all these things don't make it easy to focus on them. :/
John from Kentucky:
Alex, Alex,
I do not want to add to your anguish. But this is a discussion forum on a website called Bible-Truths.com.
Being a pre-med student, I know that you are no dummy.
So when you tell us about your lover, the implication is that the woman is not your wife, but that you are having (or had) sex with her.
Is that implication a reality? If so, are you interested in any of our comments from a Scriptural perspective?
John
lilitalienboi16:
--- Quote from: John from Kentucky on August 04, 2014, 07:29:13 PM ---Alex, Alex,
I do not want to add to your anguish. But this is a discussion forum on a website called Bible-Truths.com.
Being a pre-med student, I know that you are no dummy.
So when you tell us about your lover, the implication is that the woman is not your wife, but that you are having (or had) sex with her.
Is that implication a reality? If so, are you interested in any of our comments from a Scriptural perspective?
John
--- End quote ---
Hit me where it hurts John. Do it... open rebuke is better than secret love.
If It means anything, we have, well.... we HAD intentions of getting married. I'm not sure where that is going right now due to whats happened.
If I lose her, I lose the baby girl I have cared for these past three years as a father. She is four years old now. She is also very much the most precious gift the Lord has given me other than my faith.
John from Kentucky:
--- Quote from: lilitalienboi16 on August 04, 2014, 07:33:53 PM ---
--- Quote from: John from Kentucky on August 04, 2014, 07:29:13 PM ---Alex, Alex,
I do not want to add to your anguish. But this is a discussion forum on a website called Bible-Truths.com.
Being a pre-med student, I know that you are no dummy.
So when you tell us about your lover, the implication is that the woman is not your wife, but that you are having (or had) sex with her.
Is that implication a reality? If so, are you interested in any of our comments from a Scriptural perspective?
John
--- End quote ---
Hit me where it hurts John. Do it... open rebuke is better than secret love.
If It means anything, we have, well.... we HAD intentions of getting married. I'm not sure where that is going right now due to whats happened.
If I lose her, I lose the baby girl I have cared for these past three years as a father. She is four years old now. She is also very much the most precious gift the Lord has given me other than my faith.
--- End quote ---
I'm just a big dumb accountant. What do I know of such things?
I think you already know what I would say. So I'll just shut up.
Extol:
A lot of people these days don't care much for marriage; "just a piece of paper," they say. I know Ray (and most of us here) do not agree with that sentiment, and I can personally testify to the power of that "piece of paper." My wife and I have had some fiery trials in our four years together. Had we not been married, it is possible--even probable-- we would have separated. It would have been much easier to part ways if we were merely "dating" or merely "lovers." But the "piece of paper" held us together. We were committed to each other and committed to our relationship, and we were determined, with God's help, to honor that commitment.
Of course, it doesn't work out that way for everybody. Many people don't have a problem saying "Adios" even after signing the piece of paper. But for us, it was a bond that held us together.
I guess the point I'm trying to make--painful though it may be--is to not be surprised if your lover wants to end this. It's a lot easier to end it--and induces less guilt--without having committed to one another in marriage, even if you have taken on the father role wholeheartedly. Obviously I don't know your lover or know what she's thinking, but what you quoted here--"the love is gone but she says it is absolutely none of my doing"--sounds like a slightly fancier version of the universal, candy-coated excuse for breaking up: "It's not you, it's me."
You can pray that God will not dismantle this, and hope that your prayer will be answered. But there is another prayer that is even more important that you should want answered, and indeed must be answered. And I think you know what that prayer is. ;)
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