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How to be saved
yello62:
i see folks got jokes on this forum. THAT will never earn you your salvation...
ML:
But your tithing will! Our pockets couldn't get any emptier, so unless you like hell holes, step right up with your money!
And yes, God told me this. In fact, I am actually Yeshualabadadoodachilidee Halmayeshamadogeedooda's long lost twin's brother's sister's uncle's father's dog's cousin! So you can rest assured your money will be put to good use.
yello62:
tell me about the tithes. my “third tithe” year put me into bankruptcy. that should earn me some salvation points.
ML:
Well, since I am Yeshualabadadoodachilidee Halmayeshamadogeedooda's long lost twin's brother's sister's uncle's father's dog's cousin, I have the authority to tell of the secret "tenth tithe"
On this tithe, not only do you give us all of your money, but all of your possessions! Surely you would not want to disobey a man of God like me, would you?
If you need food, go feed off of your neighbour cat litter. But, don't eat too much of it. Even cats gotta tithe their furballs to us.
Wanda:
Sir, I thought about buying your book, but decided to ask God for a sign, because I had an uneasy feeing about you. This morning I found my bank account has been frozen and I can't access any funds. Praise the Lord!
After reading your comment telling people to eat cat litter, I know you are not a man of God.
I have a few questions. Are you CRAZY? Seriosly, are you CRAZY? What kind of god do you worship, that would expect such a terrible thing of people?
I would also like to say. Anyone considering getting salvation from this mans advice, should know he doesn't own a jet or even a mansion. How can he possibly be inspired by God?
My God says I should love my enemies, so I will pray for you.
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