> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship

i have ISSUES with God

(1/3) > >>

shoani:
i recently have been checking my life and thinking to myself that as much as am an overcomer its one thing am not proud of. my life has been a living hell(though He pulled me through)and it never cease.
(1) I lost my mother to cancer in September,
(2) my marriage is not so all-that
(3) was declared infertile by the expert and am only 30yrs old- why get married when i cant bear fruits of the womb?
everytime i tell some1 this general history of my life i brake down and cry. both my parents are gone and am left with my sisters. am not out for pity and i hate sympathies but i find myself wishing for the end than going through all this hell on earth.
i wonder if this is ever gonna end. i say am an overcome based on the following:
(1)there was a point in my life when i thought i was gonna die but God saw me through and am alive and have no pain in my body without a doctors help but Him alone healed me.
(2) after the doctors told me that i cant have a child, i got a dream that am not gonna die before i have a child as he or she is being prepared in heaven for me- the waiting is killing me and everytime i want to complain that dream come to remind me that God promised and He's gonna fulfil,
(3) i was born from a poor family and the first thing when i finished my school was to find a job and not further my studies and better my sisters life and its only now i realise that am the only person in the family that never furthered her studies and i have helped my sisters to further theirs except myself. i have their respect but i keep beating myself for not furthering mine. God provided me with this job and i appreciate that. He's given me a car and a house and am earning a salary even if am not happy.
i can say so many nice things about God that still re-enforce the strenghth in me when i loose it but i ask myself this: do some of us made to survive in this life and not enjoy it?
i belive that God is alive in my life but sometimes he seem far, as Ray will say in Lazarus's case, if He was around my mother would still be alive today. finally when i saw that my mother's condition is deteriorating(Pancrease and Liver cancer) i went to her bedroom and prayed that God take her soul and to my surprise the following day she died during da night. i hated that, thinking that why does he reply to the prayer of my mother dying than when i prayed for her to be healed? God makes me mad sometimes as much as i have the utmost respect and fear for him. am still not healed from this wound as September is coming and my mothers memories are becoming strong. she passed away on her birthday and as odd as it is but am angry. am i allowed to be that angry guys? non any of my sisters has made peace with that and as an elder am the weakest of them all.

orion77:
Hello shoani, welcome to the forum.

I can certainly understand where God has you at this point in time.  We all through different but simular circumstances are brought here so we can see, this fleshly life with all its troubles and problems, is not the life God wants for us.

True Life came from above and showed us the Way to peace.  My prayer is that God will give you understanding and hope.  Please take the time to read and study the articles on Rays site.  They will be of great help to you.

God bless,

Gary

hillsbororiver:
Hello shoani and welcome to the Forum,

As Gary alluded to I also understand where God has you now, I have been there. The pain of losing loved ones started early in life for me and I will tell you I hated God.

As you understand more and more of His purpose for us in this life, that hate melts into awe, faith and love. There is no way anyone can answer all these things you are going through in an e-mail, post or article, but dilligence in seeking His Word will bring you there day by day, in His time.

This article may be a help to you;

http://bible-truths.com/lake3.html

His Peace to you Sister,

Joe

Kat:
Hi shoani,

So many of us have felt much the same as you do right now,
at some time in our life.

1Pe 4:12  Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  v. 13 But rejoice insomuch as you share Christ's suffering, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.

Act 14:22  confirming the souls of the disciples, exhorting to continue in the faith, and that through many afflictions we must enter into the kingdom of God.

Things are hard now,
but try to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Joh 16:33  I have spoken these things to you that you may have peace in Me. You have distress in the world; but be encouraged, I have overcome the world.

Although we are to go through extreme hardship, God nonetheless strengthens us,
so that we can endure these things. 
It is not God's purpose to discourage us. 
We have this promise from God.

1Co 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

We must pray for strength and courage at time like these.
Take heart, you have a lot of friends here,
who will pray with you.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

chuckusa:
Shoani,

Welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place shoani, God is alive here and working on us all through incredible trials and pain.

I wept and wept as I read your words and all the others. It is no small coincidence that this is the first post I read today.

Shoani, we are all weak and powerless without God, no one can understand the plans that he has made for us, and yes he can feel so far away sometimes.
I, and many here know exactly how you feel.

I too am angry at God right now, I am confused and scared, but I know I must trust him now even unto death.

Shoani, you are loved, I know that for a fact, because I love you and will pray for you always.

Your brother in Christ,
Chuck

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page