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i have ISSUES with God

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shoani:
oh Judie, U just touched my heart in a way U wont know. she died of the same cancer and i dispise the desease. i aslo have sisters and one brother and the youngest is giving us hell(adolecent) and i really see that my mother would have been dead even if she did not have this cancer. we cannot let her go further astray but talking to her is futile. my other sisters are so well and understanding but her on the other side is like the lost sheep. those R the things that makes me miss my mother. my mother's anniversary is only one year old, it coincide with the September eleven. she was born on that day and died on that day(Sept11) i somehow think this day means something somewhere.
thanx Judie - U sound like a sister i may have

shoane

mongoose:
Shoani,
   A belated welcome to the forum.  I wanted to add my voice to those urging you to bring all of this to God, even when you're mad or disappointed.  God doesn't need our prayers...we need our prayers.  When you bring all of your hurt and confusion and anger to Him, you're acknowledging that you can't handle this on your own..that you need Him.  And that is a very good place to start.  In fact, as I've mentioned in some posts quite awhile ago, when God really opened my eyes and started changing me I was in a blind rage at Him.  I was so angry and hurt and confused and was basically yelling at Him.  And all that happened is that He said to me "you're going to be ok."  And suddenly I was calm and things were different...the stuff I was mad about was the same, what was different was me.  It happened in the blink of an eye.  I used to feel that I had to try to hide it from Him when I was angry with Him.  After that experience, I try to be honest with Him and tell Him how I feel..good or bad.  He already knows what you are feeling, what your struggles are.  What most people long for more than anything is someone who truly understands them....what they don't realize is that there is One who truly does know you better than you even know yourself.  And He loves you more than you can ever imagine.

As for feeling the presence of God, well, that comes and goes for all of us I think.  Regardless of how far away He seems, He is forever near.  Every breath you take, every moment of your life is a gift of love from Him.  Every time you have felt love from another person, that was a touch of God's love.  He is the source of all love and comfort. 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord  Romans 8:38-39

This scripture is so true...nothing, literally nothing, can separate you from God's love.  That includes feeling far away from Him.  I pray you will find some peace in this.

Love to you in Christ,

mongoose

SandyFla:

--- Quote from: shoani on August 31, 2006, 09:11:57 AM ---(2) after the doctors told me that i cant have a child, i got a dream that am not gonna die before i have a child as he or she is being prepared in heaven for me- the waiting is killing me and everytime i want to complain that dream come to remind me that God promised and He's gonna fulfil,
--- End quote ---
I can sympathize with your pain. The doctor told me I could have children, but when I tried, I couldn't. Another doctor then told me that if I DID get pregnant, I probably would not carry the child to term. I have reason to believe I had a miscarriage, and Mother's Day has always been very hard for me. My sister has 2 beautiful boys and she wants nothing to do with God. Why did He bless her and refuse me? I fought God long and hard about that one, and have decided that someday I will understand ... and even now I am beginning to.

However, not to completely discourage you ... my aunt was told she would never have children, and she has 3! So doctors don't know everything. If God wants you to have a child, He will give him/her to you in His own time.  :)



--- Quote from: shoani on August 31, 2006, 09:11:57 AM ---God makes me mad sometimes as much as i have the utmost respect and fear for him. am still not healed from this wound as September is coming and my mothers memories are becoming strong. she passed away on her birthday and as odd as it is but am angry. am i allowed to be that angry guys? non any of my sisters has made peace with that and as an elder am the weakest of them all.

--- End quote ---
Yes, it's OK to be angry with God. He can handle it.   ;)

When I was a young child, my mom didn't let me have everything I wanted. I didn't understand why she said no, but it was for my own good. I would get mad at her, but she still loved me, and I knew it. She would tell me, "Someday you will understand why I said no. I know you're mad right now, but that's OK. I love you. You can spit in my face, and I will still love you."

That's how God is. Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:39). God knows you don't understand and are hurting; that's where the anger comes from. He knows us better than we know ourselves. So feel free to pour out your heart to Him in complete honesty; you won't shock Him. When you are finished, just let Him hold you ...

Feel free to IM me if you need to talk.

Hugs,
Sandy

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