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Struggling to Forgive

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angie:
Hi Sandy,

what you experience is no different from what anyone else experiences at some time in their life or other if they care to admit it. When someone behaves a certain way towards you, you are a victim of their actions or words.

The amount of time you spend thinking ill of them is directly proportionate to how deeply those actions or words hurt or offended you on some level.[even if you are not aware of it] The man obviously has a problem, and he has passed it on to you.

When I was a victim of an unpleasant experience, I realised that for every moment of thought that I gave it afterwards, every single one of those moments I remained a victim, thinking bad thoughts and all the while becoming more bitter and and angry. [was I hurting him? NO, only myself] I realised that the only way to really stop it all WAS to forgive, let it go. I Made myself think about something positve after every negative [doesn't matter if they are connected] so that every negative turned into a positive thought and took my mind away from bad thoughts.

Also, I myself had a very hard time dealing with my own temper years ago, not to mention a foul mouth when things went wrong,  it's not a very pleasant way to live either, in fact it's downright horrible. The man is more to be pitied than scorned I would say since he appears to just as much a victim himself. The fact that you had this experience with him, seemed to 'get over it' and then revert back to it at a later date suggests that you may have subconsciously made him your mental scapegoat for anything else that triggers a 'down' period.

You are learning from this experience. You will never be quick to judge others for feeling the way you do just now because you UNDERSTAND what it feels like to have difficulty controlling them. Instead you will sympathise and be more tolerant. Are we not to 'judge angels'? won't we need compassion and understanding for that?

Hope this helps in some small way

Angie
x

ned:
Hi Sandy,
Like you say, you probably have forgiven this man, but emotions do get the best of us.

We are carnal and therefore our emotions exist to serve US.  I find to please God, we need to put our emotions on the back-burner and look to Jesus. 
You say you've asked God to help you forgive this man. 

I was searching "forgive" in e-sword and this verse caught my attention.

James 5:15(CEV)  If you have faith when you pray for sick people, they will get well. The Lord will heal them, and if they have sinned, he will forgive them.

This angry man probably needs your prayers. 

God bless you Sandy.
Your sister,
Marie

PS I'm struggling to hit "post" because I'm not sure the above verse applies, but to me if this man is so angry, he indeed is sick. Besides, anyone can use a prayer, and everyone needs God's help! ok...i'm hitting post...

chuckusa:
Sandy,

This burden has a purpose.

The influences of satan in our lives, must manifest itself. You know, he greatly desires pain and misery in your life. This man I think has simply become the focal point of this particular manifestation. Something about this man just really got under your skin, and it's being used over and over against you. I always try to remember that darkness always strikes at our weakest points, therefore making us seemingly powerless to combat it. You may have forgiven this man in your heart, but our minds have other purposes unbeknowing to us at times.

I would treat this as an attack, and rebuke satan continuously when these feelings come to you. It sounds as if this poor man has a rather pathetic life. Living with that degree of anger and strife, so pathetic in fact, that he is being used by the adversary to inflict pain upon others... is a really terrible position to be in.

Maybe this is simply Gods way of pointing out a weakness to you. It seems to have gotten your attention...Maybe this isn't an issue of forgiving HIM. He is just being used by the adversary to exploit a weakness that you have, that only God can overcome. If you take that particular PERSON out of the equation, what are you left with? Does it expose a more fundemental root cause for this anger?

I'm not trying to psycoanalyze here, only going by what I have seen in other people. It just seems like the adversary will often attack in this way, sneaking in on a past event, so as to conceal his true intent and motive. It's very confusing, and I deal with this all the time in my life.

Look past this man, in your prayer. I don't think he is really the issue, even though I know it may seem like he is. I've had to think like this many times to understand what was really going on in my life. I hope that helps somehow, I really do understand what you are going through.

Love and prayers Sandy,
Chuck

kennymac:
Hi Sandy,

Knowing that Christ was spit on, mocked, humiliated and beaten to death for me, keeps me very humble. When I find myself becoming offended, I quickly think of what Jesus went through at Calvary and suddenly what ever I'm facing seems very trivial. This response is not something that came naturally to me, it is a technique that through constant application became a part of me.

 Hatred, unforgiveness, bitterness are all designed to take us out of love.

That is Satan's goal, he wants to destroy, us and fill us with every negative emotion.

Remember.... we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

When you find yourself in this state, try singing your favorite song, worship God, sing praises to His name. Keep praising him until the yoke is broken. Do not allow yourself to replay negative experiences, you control your thoughts, guard them. Do whatever it is you know to stay in peace.

God bless you,

Mary Ann

PS  God has put the most difficult, proud, unpolished individuals around me. Why???  I used to ask God why all the time. Then the revelation came, if I never experienced hate how would I learn to forgive.

SandyFla:
Thanks to everyone who responded to me. You've all given me something to think about.

I'm just checking in before the end of my day, so I'll respond in more detail in the next few days.

God bless you all!

Love,
Sandy

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