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Help finding some kind of Peace married to an athiest

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Nancy:
Hi there Michele,

Funny enough, I had a bit of a rant at God, the other night, well at the air but i wanted God to hear me because ever since i have met my husband who is Jewish, i have felt guilty because of that passage by St. Paul about being unequally yoked. Why oh why did he have to write that!!!  The guilt at times has been unbearable.  But like you, i loved my then boyfriend and wanted his love which he gave me.  Before i met my husband, i was seeing a christian fellow but something was missing and i'd hadn't met anyone else i liked at church.  But the guilt was horrendous when i started to see my now husband.  So i know how you feel there. 

Anyway back to my rant.  I was saying to God, how sick i am of feeling guilty and worrying and that if it is sinful to love someone, so be it.

I too felt that i had done a terrible thing and that i had fallen out of Gods' will and that any misery i had in my life was all my fautl.  But how could i, you or anyone, be out of Gods' will, because if something isn't Gods' will, then surely it can't happen.  My mother oftens asks God why she had to marry an aggressive, alcoholic, womanizer who beat her but at other times she says that she wouldn't have had me, if she hadn't married him!!

I can't really offer any advice as i'm not that wise but i just wanted you to know that you have similar worries to others.
God bless
Nancy

DWIGHT:
Hi Michele and Nancy,

I noticed that there aren't any couples on this forum, including me.  Maybe I'm wrong, but that could mean that we are all in the same boat (ark). :)  It would be wonderful if all of our spouses were likeminded as we, but apparently that is not the case.  I have talked to my wife many times about BT and the wonderful fellowship that I have on the forum, but she still thinks that I gone off the deep end.  I don't preach to her and I try to be as gentle about it as I possibly can, but I can see that it is a distant and touchy subject with her so I just don't bring it up.  It used to really bother me, but God has shown me through His grace that everything is in His hand and under His control and there is just nothing that I can do about it.....for without Me, ye can do nothing. 

Sisters, don't feel condemned about your situation, for all is of God....He knew this would happen, we can't surprise Him; but now that we're in this mess, we must trust Him and pray that God will work in us as He pleases.

It's not easy to thank God for everything, but if everything was just perfect we would already be in the next age. ;D  You both have been led here by the mighty hand of God; believe me, this is right where God wants you....this is where you will find the truth and the truth will set you both free.  Only God can get us out of the messes that we created for ourselves, and here you will find that God will use all this evil for good and to His glory.

God bless you both,

Dwight

Michele:
Thank you, those of you who are trying to be helpful and supportive...I truly appreciate it.
I fight the guilt and then I say....If we all believe that everything is God's Will, and that He is truly in Control and not us, then We are all where he wants us. In one way it's easy to understand that..say if your situation isn't tooo bad, but what if you were married to a horrific person?  A murderer or a rapist or child molestor, something like that?  It's really difficult for me to understand about how the Bible says you know that Everything going on is God's will even if we don't understand and also that there will be punishements for these same actions...I've been wrestling with this one ever since I read it here....

Surely there are more on BT that are married to non-believers than just the few that replied here?  The way the world is, there must be.
Again I appreciate the friendly supportive replies very much.  Whever I'm feeling overwhelmed I read and re-read these Bible scriptures about
1Cr 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.


However, I received this message in my private inbox (PLease see Below) which I didn't care for at all and was very Unhelpful and I don't know if it is relevant to this situation or not, it gave me a chill and reminded me vividly of sitting in one of the "Hell-Fire, bible thumping churches"of my youth, and this person says and  I quote
"I now am a firm believer that a person may be able to lose their salvation if they are living in sin according to God's word THE BIBLE"

Can a regular poster of BT please identify the person who is a newbie named BEV who  left this bunch of scriptures for me,  and what it has to do with my situaiton?
This sounds quite like a "hell-fire traditional christian" to me..so I"m confused here?

Yes the Bible says "be not unequally yoked", but we're also stating here on BT that God is in control of All?
     the Bible also states that 1Cr 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

So did those of us who married a non-believer commit a sinful act?  Or was it sinful and God's will?  Or what? 
And if he did not want us to stay married to these persons then surely the Bible would not have stated that if the un-believing spouse wishes to stay married to you that you should stay married to them (meaning that you should not leave the marriage just because they are unbelievers and you are a believer) and in fact says that you as a believer "bless" the marriage.    The Bible does Not say "now you've done it, you and your children are all doomed, Get Out Now!"
So What's the Deal?

I've heard many a non-christian state how the Bible is always contradicting itself. It does  look that way, but I'm hoping that I"m just not learned enough in it to understand yet and if I never am I'll pray that God will forgive me cause I surely feel unequal to the task.

Sometimes I am so torn up inside it's hard to go on...I don't have the answers to the tough questions either, all I know is that I am constantly searching for God, trying to connect. When I was a tiny little girl being taught about Jesus/God...all I though of was happy things.  Then I went to church and heard all about the danger of sending yourself to "Hell!"  And grew up and married an athiest who loved me and was good to me, and was always worried sick and although I was sincerely terrified of hell, I never could really accept it.  I thought something must be wrong there because God IS Love, and God wouldn't torture people for all eternity, that's what I always told myself.  And Now, here I am on BT, learning and learning and what I am reading makes the most sense of anything I"ve ever read in my life.  It makes all the more sense because BT wants Nothing from me!  No money, no nothing. (Although I"d be glad to donate now),

Michele:
I also found this Bible Scripture below....so I don't know what this person is going on about in that message to me above?  Can anyone clarify?

What it feels like to me is that while I am not clear on wheather I committed a major sin or not by marrying a non-believer, that God says that all I have to do is
*Continue being a good person, patient, kind and loving and NON-Judgemental to you spouse and perhaps by your example you will prove that "God's" way is good.
*That your children will be ok.

Since Salvation is GUARANTEED, then I shouldn't worry myself sick I should just learn to live with everything, somehow, and try to continue to learn about God, Yes?



Truth from the Bible about Unsaved Loved Ones

(Acts 16:31 KJV)
(31) And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

(Acts 11:14 KJV)
(14) Who shall tell thee words, whereby thou and all thy house shall be saved.

(Matthew 18:14 KJV)
(14) Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

(Isaiah 44:3 KJV)
(3) For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring:

(2 Peter 3:9 KJV)
(9) The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

(1 Peter 3:1-2 KJV)
(1) Likewise, ye wives, {be} in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; (2) While they behold your chaste conversation {coupled} with fear.

(1 Corinthians 7:13-16 KJV)
(13) And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. (15) But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such {cases}: but God hath called us to peace. (16) For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save {thy} husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save {thy} wife?

(1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 KJV)
(21) Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. (22) Abstain from all appearance of evil.

(Psalms 98:2 KJV)
(2) The Lord hath made known his salvation: his righteousness hath he openly shewed in the sight of the heathen.

(Isaiah 50:10 KJV)
(10) Who {is} among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh {in} darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God.

(Psalms 55:22 KJV)
(22) Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

(Isaiah 56:1 KJV)
(1) Thus saith the Lord, Keep ye judgment, and do justice: for my salvation {is} near to come, and my righteousness to be revealed.

(John 16:7-8 KJV)
(7) Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you. (8) And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:

(Proverbs 22:6 KJV)
(6) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

(1 Thessalonians 5:24 KJV)
(24) Faithful {is} he that calleth you, who also will do {it}.

 

Kat:
Hi Michele,

As you put it,


--- Quote ---What it feels like to me is that while I am not clear on wheather I committed a major sin or not by marrying a non-believer, that God says that all I have to do is
*Continue being a good person, patient, kind and loving and NON-Judgemental to you spouse and perhaps by your example you will prove that "God's" way is good.
*That your children will be ok.

Since Salvation is GUARANTEED, then I shouldn't worry myself sick I should just learn to live with everything, somehow, and try to continue to learn about God, Yes?
--- End quote ---

I do believe you are right.
You should listen to the audio on marriage and the one on love,
that is in the 'Introductions and Announcments' section. 
I believe it would help your understanding a great deal.

For those that God has chosen, I do not believe He is giving us a easy and carefree life.
We are to be growing and learning from our experiences, which is the proving or testing of our faith.

1Peter 1:6  in which you exult; yet a little while, if need be, grieving in manifold trials,
v. 7  so that the proving of your faith, much more precious than perishing gold, but having been proved through fire, may be found to praise and honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

I believe that whether it is by the trials we face being married to an athiest or facing terrible health problems or whatever they may be, it is God's way of building the faith and knowledge we need to be prepared an ready, at His appearing.

It is God who determines what we need to shape us, into whatever He wants us to be.  We have to trust Him, that He know better than we , what He is doing.

Phi 4:11  Not that I speak as to need, for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am.
v. 12  And I know to be humbled, and I know to abound; in everything, and in all things, I am taught both to be filled and to hunger, both to abound, and to lack.
v. 13  I have strength for all things in Christ the One strengthening me.

Be encouraged Michele, God is working things in your life, He knows exactly what He is developing in you and preparing you for.

2Co 4:16  So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.
v. 17  For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,
v. 18  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

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