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I need a friend to talk to.

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hillsbororiver:
Hi Paula,

There is no doubt many here empathize with your situation and this feeling of being in a dry spot or the desert with little to no Spiritual Water.

I know I do.

Craig gave wise counsel as to extending a hand to those less fortunate, whether it be a visit to a retirement home or volunteering time at an orphanage or hospital or some other act of selflessness.

Mat 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

Mat 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

Mat 25:36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

Mat 25:37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

Mat25:38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

Mat25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

Mat25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Mat25:41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

Mat25:42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

Mat25:43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

Mat25:44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

Mat25:45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.


I was reading Hebrews Chapter 13 and this jumped out at me and I thought of your present state (a place I have been before but not "church" related);

Heb 13:12  Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate.
 
Heb 13:13  Let us go forth therefore unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach.
 
Heb 13:14  For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.
 
Heb 13:15  By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.
 
Heb 13:16  But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

His Peace and Comfort to you Dear Sister,

Joe

PKnowler:
Thank you all for responding! I was very blessed to wake up this morning and check on to see so many responses!

I love your suggestion Craig.


--- Quote from: Craig on April 01, 2007, 10:17:19 AM ---  One thing that perhaps we could be doing is going out into the world and trying new things.  Volunteering, with our families at hospitals, seniors centers, food pantry's, schools, etc.  We are now the salt of the earth and by going out into the world we can show something different in us.
Craig

--- End quote ---

I think it would be difficult with 5 young children though. It is hard for me to do the necessary and go grocery shopping with all of them in tow.

This slump is not about my not attending church and or not having fellowship. This is about the distance that I have felt from God for the past 5 years. Even when I was going to church I felt distance from God. I had no real friends in church, only acquaintances. I’m not sure what the problem was other then our family is different because we home school and have a large family, not many in our church were like-minded. I’ve been isolating myself for a long time. I've only been active on this board for the past few months even though I've been a member for years.

My closeness to God is not contingent on going to church either. I know that because I came out of the SDA church to do home fellowship - a small group of us thought the SDA church was Babylon. I wasn't in church for about 7 years. I enjoyed the home fellowship until we moved to another state and then I was alone for about 5 years. My husband didn’t care about Spiritual things. I studied the Bible and taught my children the word. It was very lonely but I felt the presence of God and the abiding joy never left me, it felt as though I was in the wilderness though.

After many years past I was home schooling my children and was considering using Rod and Staff Mennonite curriculum I heard of a Mennonite community that was about 1 ½ hours away so I made contact with them to ask them some questions. To make a long story short they started bringing a large group into my home to have fellowship once a month. What a blessing! I think their whole church came. They brought the folding chairs and their hymnals and lots and lots of food. The pastor preached and it was good! They did this for several months until my husband got sick.

There were many trips back and forth to the hospital. My husband had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance several times. He was in a veteran’s hospital 41/2 hours away, I was in Prescott and he was in Tucson, AZ, so I had to get friends to watch my children for a week at a time so I could go to be with my husband. This went on for months. I was so torn between my children and husband. I was getting weary. One morning I felt strongly lead to go to a friend’s non-denominational church after 7 years of not going to church! That morning I felt the sweet Spirit of the Lord. It was so refreshing! I knew I needed to start going to church. That afternoon I got the call that my husband passed away.

The Mennonite pastor preached at my husband’s funeral and the sermon was on:

(1Co 15:19)  If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.

By the grace of God I stood up to give testimony to my husband’s life and the goodness of God- and the abiding joy never left me. (My husband was an alcoholic and drug user, God did a miraculous work in his life. My husband was clean and sober for 3 ½ years before he died. He had accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord & Savior and was growing in the Lord. The dynamics of our family changed for the better during that time and it was good!)

I was widowed with 5 children for 4 years and the presence of the Lord was even stronger in my life. The Lord was my husband and I felt blessed, cared for, protected and loved. I did start attending a nondenominational church regularly and it helped to have the Christian fellowship and influence in raising my children to love the Lord. (Although none of them do now! And that grieves me beyond measure.) I went through many trials and tribulations raising my children alone but I still had the abiding joy.

So this is not about not attending Church or lack of fellowship or trials and tribulations. I know about the transcendent abiding joy that surpasses all understanding and is not contingent on the present circumstances, the fellowship of His presence and hearing the still small voice. I want that back! My commitment and desire to follow God are not based on these things but I am grieved because I haven't had that communication and intimacy for so long. I know it must be my fault and I can't seem to feel close to God no matter how much Bible I read or prayers I pray. The only thing that helps is praising Him with music- it transports me into His presence, but that is passing not abiding.

I believe that God will bring me through this. Thanks for "listening".

Bless you All!
~Paula

Rene:

--- Quote from: PKnowler on April 01, 2007, 02:05:59 AM ---
I want to get real with God and quit the religious rituals like they are going to make me Holy.


--- End quote ---

Hi Paula,

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.  I especially appreciated the quote you made above.  It is so profound and true.  Even when you don't realize it, the Lord is using you to help others.  I benefited greatly just from reading that quote from you.

I too sometimes feel as though I am "wandering in the wilderness."  When I am feeling this way, I have found much comfort from the 8th chapter of the book of Deuteronomy.  There we are told how the Lord uses this "wilderness" experience to humble us, to test us, and ultimately to "do us good in the end."

I will keep you in my prayers.

Peace and His grace to you,

Rene'

Deborah-Leigh:
Dear Paula

As Rene said, I too was edified to learn of your trials and to share in your thoughts you generously expressed.

What came up for me is that what you are experiencing is our Lords closeness to you. Many become attached to the "feelings" we get when we avoid or run away from our experiences of suffering. It is not natural to embrace our suffering and as Joe pointed out, we are social in our make up. It is difficult to be separated from our carnal nature and it is the Lord who separates us from our dependence and attachments to sensuality and it is He who brings us to Himself when He decides. This is not for us to decide. Like Queen Esther, she knew that to approach the King, could have caused her instant execution. It was only the favor of the King and the fact that he was in a good mood, that when she approached him, she was not executed right there and then.

There is a protocol to approaching the King. It is found in Hebrews 4 : 15 For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our WEAKNESSES and INFIRMITIES and LIABILITY TO THE ASSAULTS OF TEMPTATION,  but  One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

It is wonderful to enjoy the easy delights of waves of exaltation and ecstasy when being swept up in massive praise and worship experiences. Like being at a base ball match. The enthusiasm of mass emotion is transferable, palpable and easy to get caught up in! But then we grow up. We notice it does not last. Like the last fix...we need more. Jesus knows this.

John 7 : 37...If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.  38 He who believes in Me, who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me as the Scripture has said, From his innermost being shall flow continuously springs and rivers of living water.

Paula we approach the King via repentance as shown in Hebrews 4 and then after we commune with Jesus we are drawn near the throne of Gods Grace from where we receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good time for every need.   Hebrews 4 : 16

The "feelings" of His presence have to be replaced with the wisdom that He is present whether we "feel" it or not. There comes a time when we have to put away our feelings and replace them with our faith.

Jesus said John 20 : 29 Because you have seen Me, Thomas, do you now believe, trust, have faith? Blessed and happy and to be envied are those who have never seen Me and yet have believed and adhered to and trusted and relied on Me.

Consider this Paula. Maybe Jesus is leading you to be blessed because you believe, trust and have faith without having the confirmation of your feelings!

I believe you are in a very important place in your spiritual walk with our Lord!

Peace be to you.

Arcturus :)

Robin:
This scripture always comes to mind when I think of the desert I've been in for so many years. I hope it brings comfort to you also.

Isaiah 35
 1The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.

 2It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing: the glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon, they shall see the glory of the LORD, and the excellency of our God.

 3Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.

 4Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you.

 5Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.

 6Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert.

 7And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water: in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

 8And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.

 9No lion shall be there, nor any ravenous beast shall go up thereon, it shall not be found there; but the redeemed shall walk there:

 10And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

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