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Author Topic: Newspaper Headlines  (Read 2417 times)

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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Newspaper Headlines
« on: October 22, 2007, 08:31:04 PM »

Some editors and copywriters must have been sleeping on the job, a few headlines from around the world that do not quite capture the gist of the story .....


 
Milk drinkers are turning to powder

*
Farmer bill dies in house

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Iraqi head seeks arms

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Eye Drops Off Shelf

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Squad helps dog bite victim

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Dealers will hear car talk at noon

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Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

*

Miners refuse to work after death


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Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

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Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

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If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

*

Cold wave linked to temperatures

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Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

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Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

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British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands





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musicman

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2007, 08:45:11 PM »

That Farmer Bill was a good guy.  I'm sad to see him go.  (Haven't you heard that proper nouns need to be capitalized?)
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Matt

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2007, 09:47:31 PM »

I am with the Miners! ;D
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musicman

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2007, 10:28:08 PM »

I am with the Miners! ;D

No you're not.  They're dead.
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Sue Creamer

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2007, 08:58:58 AM »

Joe,

Got a kick out of all of them except the last one, I just don't understand...???   Maybe it is just to early in the morning...!
Thanks!
Sue Ann
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2007, 09:17:32 AM »

Hi Sue Ann,

Perhaps those Brits left their breakfast (waffles) on the Islands because the ship was ready to leave the port. I had to read that one a few times before the lightbulb came on in my head!   ::)   :o

Thanks for the observations Musicman and Matt, here are a few more to ponder;



•   Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
 
•   Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
 
•   Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
 
•   House passes gas tax onto senate
 
•   Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
 
•   Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
 
•   William Kelly was Fed secretary
 
•   Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
 
•   Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
 
•   NJ judge to rule on nude beach

•   Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
 
•   Autos killing 110 a day let's resolve to do better
 
•   War dims hope for peace

•   Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

 
« Last Edit: October 23, 2007, 09:19:16 AM by hillsbororiver »
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jER

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2007, 12:15:03 AM »

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.

Bingo! Like understating one’s age…

- jER
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gmik

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2007, 11:54:02 PM »

The English Party (the Left) were debating about the Falkland Islands. (waffling-undecided)

Double-minded= unstable in all your ways.

I think it very near the same time as the Falkland "War", England was letting Canada go.  (go figure)
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eggi

  • Bible-Truths Forum Member
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2007, 07:42:42 AM »

Hahaha!

Great one Joe!
How about this one?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

God bless you,
Eirik
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Here’s how to tell if you have faith; how do you live… what do you do… what do you accomplish in life… what are your goals… What is there about you that proves that you have this faith and belief inside of you? What?

gmik

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #9 on: November 04, 2007, 01:18:43 PM »

 ;D ;D
Good one Eirik.  And a happy Birthday to ya!!!
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LadyRanae

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2008, 02:42:25 PM »

All these Newspaper Headline jokes are funny!! And to think I thought they could be real! ::)
I was so pleased to find out that there was possibility of them being a hoax. There is hope for creation yet! :P

~ Lady Ranae
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Newspaper Headlines
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2008, 03:27:44 PM »

Thanks for the smiles. :D
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