Newspaper Headlines

[hillsbororiver]

Some editors and copywriters must have been sleeping on the job, a few headlines from around the world that do not quite capture the gist of the story .....



Milk drinkers are turning to powder

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Farmer bill dies in house

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Iraqi head seeks arms

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Eye Drops Off Shelf

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Squad helps dog bite victim

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Dealers will hear car talk at noon

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Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

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Miners refuse to work after death


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Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

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Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

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If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

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Cold wave linked to temperatures

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Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

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Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

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British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands

[musicman]

That Farmer Bill was a good guy.  I'm sad to see him go.  (Haven't you heard that proper nouns need to be capitalized?)

[Matt]

I am with the Miners!

[musicman]

I am with the Miners!

No you're not.  They're dead.

[Sue Creamer]

Joe,

Got a kick out of all of them except the last one, I just don't understand...   Maybe it is just to early in the morning...!
Thanks!
Sue Ann

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Sue Ann,

Perhaps those Brits left their breakfast (waffles) on the Islands because the ship was ready to leave the port. I had to read that one a few times before the lightbulb came on in my head!      

Thanks for the observations Musicman and Matt, here are a few more to ponder;


•   Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

•   Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

•   Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

•   House passes gas tax onto senate

•   Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan

•   Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

•   William Kelly was Fed secretary

•   Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

•   Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

•   NJ judge to rule on nude beach

•   Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984

•   Autos killing 110 a day let's resolve to do better

•   War dims hope for peace

•   Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

[jER]

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.

Bingo! Like understating one's age...

- jER

[gmik]

The English Party (the Left) were debating about the Falkland Islands. (waffling-undecided)

Double-minded= unstable in all your ways.

I think it very near the same time as the Falkland "War", England was letting Canada go.  (go figure)

[eggi]

Hahaha!

Great one Joe!
How about this one?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

God bless you,
Eirik

[gmik]

 
Good one Eirik.  And a happy Birthday to ya!!!

[LadyRanae]

All these Newspaper Headline jokes are funny!! And to think I thought they could be real!
I was so pleased to find out that there was possibility of them being a hoax. There is hope for creation yet!

~ Lady Ranae

[Deborah-Leigh]

Thanks for the smiles.