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Touchy subject

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Beloved:
Sorry but your post made it sound like this was a recent event,

If she is 49 then it is definitely hormone depletion estrogen testosterone or DHEA, the later two have more to do with libido sex drive. Estrogen is important for female comfort.

Her lack of hormones also is may be contributing to her a sense of "empty nest" since there will be no more children...in her mind she may not feel the need to have sex now.  And yes granchildren only add to this sense because it is also not her who is having them.  The mind works in funny ways some times.

Also growing old and changes in the body also contribute to the lack of interest. Men do not seem to suffer from this...men are not always so body conscious as women....age effects women differently..

She may be physically fine but she is hormonally and emotionally weakened. I do not have a lot of experience working with the Asian culture but do see that some of these women often do not have much self esteem and are very uncomfortable talking about this.  

Try your best to be patient and positive, it will be hard because women can become irrational in times of hormone unbalance.

Beloved

Wepnx0916:
this has been ongoing for the last 15 years so it's a recent event also. She has been complaining since our second child was born in 83.

phazel:
Wepnx0916,

My wife is 48 and  the doctors said she could not be going through menopause when she was in her early 40's,  my wifes breasts get very tender and  the doctor can check them and say there is nothing wrong.

In our case I have a theory that insurance HMO's probably have age guidelines that might prevent them from treating someone for menopause if they are under a certain age,  because now, at 48 with the exact same symptoms they have started her on some medicines.


Bless my wifes heart despite her admission that her breast were off limits due to extreme pain or sensitivity,  I could tell she was experiencing pain during intercourse and went ahead,  my flesh wanted to just not say anything because I was getting it.   But I finally got it out of her that intercourse was painful.   I don't want to elevate myself as my flesh kept kicking me for saying anything because now I rarely get any.  But ultimatly I have come to an understanding that my spirit is doing the right thing.

The doctors cannot just do a test and say, yep, she is having pain there.   I would suspect your wife is not lying,  I would suspect,, based on my behavior that your wife may not know how to convince you.

If I am projecting my feelings  assessing your situation it is not intended to be judgmental,  its one of those things, this is my life and if the shoe fits then wear it,   :)

I would investigate the medical aspects of what others have said.


I understand what your saying about how your wife is reacting to your beliefs,  my wife is concerned for me in that regaurd, LOL.

Sozo:
I don't have an answer for you, but maybe it will help if I tell you of my own experience.  My wife and I went through this same thing for many years.  She had little drive and almost always experienced pain.  It was frustrating for both of us for the first 12 years of our marriage.  We have 3 kids and all were birthed by c-section.  I don't think that had any thing to do with it since she had this problem before the first child was even born.  However, 4 years ago, the doctor decided that my wife should have a full hysterectomy (I can't remember the exact reason).  After the hysterectomy, our sex life did a complete turn around.  She no longer experienced any pain and her drive went up (higher than mine even). 

I'm not trying to say that this is the solution for your wife.  I just thought I would share our story because for my wife, we are 99.9% sure that her problem was medical.  Maybe your wife could get another medical opinion.

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