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Touchy subject

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Deborah-Leigh:
Hi Wepnxo960

There is no guarantee that any relationship can mature to intimate trusting levels of codependency or that this happens automatically in relationships. There could be any number of reasons for the withdrawal of your wife.

I do not know why you are experiencing these trying circumstances but we do know there is a Divine purpose and Plan in this trial for both you and your wife.

I do not know how old you or your wife are?

Relationships at 20 then 30 then 40 then 50  will experience CHANGE.  The tensions of inhibition, religious misinformation, expectations and assumptions can do much to harm intimacy that errode the deeper levels of giving and receiving which is entirely different to the surface levels of youthful attractions to the opposite sex. Love making begins before the bedroom. Kindling that fire as Kat says,  with approval, affirmation, encouragement, a kind word, a helpful gesture...all go a long way.

I do not know if you have been as honest and candid with your wife as you have with us? I do not know if your wife has been honest and candid with you.   Perhaps you need to slow down and ask her when she is feeling the pain and it wouldn't hurt to know when she is feeling pleasure.   Look for what makes her feel joy and ask her to help you find where that is, how it is, and what she needs. Her body is not dead. She might simply need a little tender loving care with much patience, strength, resolve, fortitude and determination from you. Are you willing to let the fuel of your souls passion be quenched in the effort to please your wife in order to physically ignite before you receive your own gratification. Are you putting ladies first? ....

Obey this commandment and you will never have a sex problem Eph 5 : 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.....

One thing is certain, there is no quick, easy or pain free fix.

Peace be to you

Arcturus :)

Dennis Vogel:
How old is your wife?

From: http://www.lef.org/protocols/female_reproductive/female_hormone_restoration_01.htm


--- Quote ---In addition to estrogen and progesterone, it's also important to monitor levels of pregnenolone, DHEA, and testosterone. The ideal goal of HRT therapy goes beyond the suppression of side effects caused by dropping hormone levels. The real goal of Life Extension's hormone restoration program is to restore hormone levels to those of a woman aged 20 to 29. Such an approach has wide-ranging benefits throughout the body, including psychological well-being and sex drive.
--- End quote ---


Dennis

Beloved:
Wow I am so proud of how all of you guys addressed this delicate subject., good answers especially Dennis.  ;)

As an OB/Gyn it seems to me that there may be several issues going on at the same time.

Your wife fseems to feel that since the delivery that she is uncorfotable, was she cut or did she tear. The repeair could be the problem.

She could be fearful of getting pregant and having to experience childbirth again.

Right on Dennis   Her hormones could be unbalanced, if breastfeeding it could be estrogen if not it could be DHEA or testosterone.
 
All of these issues should be addressed by a gynecologist.

Another issue is her sexuality. Could there be a history of abuse?

On the other hand some girls have been brainwashed that sex and their bodies are "dirty" and cannot let go of these thoughts even when they conflict with their feelings towards their husbands.

These issues are best handle by gyneclogist who has a special interst in sexuality (many are too busy to be able to do this because it take so much time). If you live in a cosmopolitan area you can also look for a sex therapist, I recommend a female one in this case. Even though I hate to refer to Babylon....there are even christian sex therapists...they should  at least help with scriptural references even though they will be physical and not spiritual references )

It is sweet that you are so patient but I fully understand how difficult it is that your wife is not meeting your needs

(1Co 11:9 CLV)  For, also, man is not created because of the woman, but woman because of the man."

It is the only the wife who can brings out the best in her husband...that is why God gave Adam a helpmeet.  When her husband needs are met there is nothing he will not do for her in return.

(1Co 11:11 CLV)  However, neither is woman apart from man, nor man apart from woman, in the Lord.

A married couple are one flesh and symbolic of Christ and his elect

(1Co 11:12 CLV)  For even as the woman is out of the man, thus the man also is through the woman, yet all is of God."

Eve came from Adam
All makind is born through womandkind
All of humankind will return to GOD

Beloved

Wepnx0916:
Thank you all for your insights. My wife is 49 and I am 45. We have been married for 26 years. She has had two c-sections and her tubes tied so there is no danger of her getting pregnant. We have 3 grand children right now with one on the way. She has had abuse before she met me. It seems in her country this happens a lot (Korea). Gyn says she is physically fine. her last c-section was in 1983 so why would these problems crop up in the last 15 years. I was 19 When I got married and I don't feel I made a bad choice. She is not a strong believer but I'm not perfect either. She now says she is all confused because I have only discovered the truth a few months ago. She cannot read English so I have to explain the information from the web site as best I can.

hillsbororiver:
Hi Wepnx,

Perhaps the following link will help in accessing the articles on Bible Truths in your wife's first language, scroll down this page until you find it;

 http://www.google.com/language_tools

His Peace to you and yours,

Joe

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