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Author Topic: A difficult post for me!  (Read 3353 times)

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Richard D

  • Guest
A difficult post for me!
« on: September 12, 2008, 08:09:43 PM »

This is a difficult post for me so please be patient with me. I do believe Jesus lead me to Bible truths and this forum. Iím hoping that another Christian can understand what Iím saying here or maybe read between the lines of what I really am saying! It would be good if Jesus just talk audible to me, it would make things easier.

I was born into the Catholic faith and went on to other denomination as well as nondenominational churches too. I left what Ray refers to as Christendom and thatís a good thing. However as Iím out of Christendom, Christendom is not out of me.

I have learned some wonderful truths on the lake of fire and also in this forum by some incredibly wonderful Christians which I am the least. The greatest truth I learned was that hell is a lie. I serious believe it was true and I felt it was my destiny because as I felt Gods calling I always said yes and felt security because sometimes I felt so close to God.

But in time I would fall and after awhile I did not want to continual on with God because of my belief in hell. It bother me and I wanted to put it out of my mind and thought until it happens donít worry, just try to find some peace and contentment now while you can.

God has made vessels of honor and dishonor, I always felt he made me a vessel of dishonor and maybe still do because I never attended college and even in High school I was by far the brightest light bulb on the chandelier. When I had done wrong I knew it was wrong. I feel I wanted to do what was right but I could not figure out how to or maybe it was easier to give in to my own lust than try and fight it. So I had to conclude God made me a vessel of dishonor.

Thatís why I said the greatest truth I learned is that hell is a lie. Now I can love God because he is God without any threats. If I learn nothing else besides this truth Iím alright with that because I know that Gods ultimate plan for me is good and I will come out of the lake of fire one day and be with God. So now I like the old saying better late than never.

Ray had mentioned a verse from the Bible I remember what the verse said but donít remember where its located but it said that the people of the earth will learn righteousness and I do have a desire to learn righteousness. The more I learn here and now the less I have to learn there and then and could end up with and early out, Ray did mention this will not be a walk in the park.

I see some Christians on this forum with a great deal of light concerning the things of God and how these same ones can put scripture together like no tomorrow. I donít know how to study the Bible in a productive way and would like to know how. If I could be directed to a study guild that would be of help to me I would appreciate it. I thought World Bible School would help me with this but it turns out they taught false doctrine so I left that on line Bible course and have nothing more to do with it.

It is amazing to me what God done with me with just a couple of truths I received since I come to Bible Truths and this forum. I only started to read the lake of fire series 4 maybe its been 5 weeks now and only about one week with this forum but if you could see the change in me then you would understand why I feel like I do.

I know in time I may look back at this post and laugh but I canít laugh at me now, I donít have time to, there is to much in front of me I need to learn, so many things that need to be change.

Iím not a prefect man, not a good man, just a man. Nothing special about me. I am the least of all of you wonderful beautiful loving people. I thought you should know me, a nobody!
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Jackie Lee

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2008, 08:23:03 PM »

Hi Richard, I have an extreme inferioity complex when it comes to the knowledge that so many have here on the board.
I have been a member for over a year but feel like a newbie.
Things just don't sink in like I would want, I considered leaving this board because I felt like a fish out of water.
Yet I keep coming back every day when possible to just get a little more heart felt knowledge, knowing this is the will of God.
I honestly know how you feel but I have never saw one person putting another down for being here learning the will of God.
 I know I am not as wise and smart as most here but that is why I must be here.
Don't worry and things will come to you as God wills.
I am still struggling with some things but know I am closer to the truth than I ever have been before.
I hope this helps you knowing you are not alone not ever.
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AK4

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2008, 08:50:33 PM »

Quote
If I could be directed to a study guild that would be of help to me I would appreciate it. I thought World Bible School would help me with this but it turns out they taught false doctrine so I left that on line Bible course and have nothing more to do with it.

Hi Richard,

I could never study anything.  During my school years i could never study anything.  Either i got it or i didnt.  When it came to the bible it was the same thing.

Then i bought a one year bible which gave you sections to read for about 15 minutes a day.  I went through it in like 7 or 8 months.  I stopped reading for awhile, but little bits of verses i could remember.  I never studied, but God just let me remember maybe a word or two here or there.  So i read it again, from front to back and the same thing happened.  So i had realised i either get it or not.

When i "stumbled" on BT and was reading Rays paper it just all started clicking.  "i remember that". 

Well to shorten this post-- i still cant study the bible really, IF i didnt have e-sword and the online bible sites.  Without these i would be at the same state of either i get it or not. 

You can download e-sword for free just go to esword.com and the other one i use is http://bible.crosswalk.com/-- i like this one but its a little slow at times.

That is the only way i can put verses together--all you have to do is remember key words or phrases, type it in and BOOM.

This forum helped me alot because someone would post something looking for an answer and i would just give my honest opinion with scripture--but  i had to find the scripture with esword or the other one.  Without those im lost

Hope this helps and cheer up, not one of us here know if we are part of the elect either and feel the same at times i believe

In Jesus,

Anthony

« Last Edit: September 12, 2008, 08:53:28 PM by AK4 »
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EKnight

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2008, 08:58:12 PM »

Jackie lee, I couldn't have said it better myself.  I have, in previous posts, expressed the same concerns and sentiments as both you and Richard.  And, like you, I just press on hoping things will sink in and it's enough for now just knowing that I too am closer to the truth than I ever have been before.  I am continually trying to shed those beastly ways.

Richard, your post is so very honest and sincere.  You sound like a good person to me and, if you weren't, then you are well on your way to being one.  I am not well versed in scripture either and I get most of my bible studies from the forum members.  I use E-sword Live which is a quick and easy way to look up scripture.  And then I re-read some of Ray's papers.  It all helps.

Eileen
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Beloved

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2008, 10:44:56 PM »

You are absoulutely right Richard D, and you have diagnosed your own problem :
you have a bad case of retained christitanity:o

The false doctrine that you need to let got rid of  is
" I have to do everything and be perfect for God to want me and I can go to heaven "

The true doctrine...you cannot attain righteousness on your own

(Mat 19:17 KJVR)  And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.   Jesus knews that no one can keep the commandments...we are flesh

The first commandment is to keep the Sabbath...spiritually that means to totally rest in God to work a work in you. You are just His servant

As a "worthless" servant rejoice that God has opened your eyes and ears, isn't that marvelous start
Now look what he says about your current state (knowing you are worthless and unworthy)

Luk 18:10  Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
Luk 18:11  The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
Luk 18:12  I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
Luk 18:13  And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
Luk 18:14  I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

You are exactly what he is looking for

(Luk 5:30 KJVR)  But their scribes and Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying, Why do ye eat and drink with publicans and sinners?
(Luk 5:31 KJVR)  And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician: but they that are sick
(Luk 5:32 KJVR)  I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
(1Co 1:25 KJVR)  Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

(1Co 1:26 KJVR)  For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
(1Co 1:27 KJVR)  But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
(1Co 1:28 KJVR)  And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to naught things that are:
(1Co 1:29 KJVR)  That no flesh should glory in his presence.

Do not be too impressed with all the bible quotes, Esword does it all. Honestly I can not quote you one chapter verse of any bible verse, but I read and study and I do know what is said in the bible. Esword just helps us dumb ones find it.

All of us here are always learning more and God is showing us more everyday.
It is the trial of fire in our lives that is hard, we all have stuff in our lives that needs to be burned out.


Beloved
« Last Edit: September 13, 2008, 11:49:14 AM by Beloved »
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Mike T

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2008, 07:34:19 AM »

"...I was by far the brighest light..."

    8)

I hope you laugh, Richard
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Sirach

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2008, 01:30:03 PM »

Hi Richard,

I wish you could see what happened and still is happening in my life also. Major major changes...wich all make me happy, and praise Jesus.

As for knowledge...i am also in a learning process...wich will hopefully stay this way untill my last breath. I also see so many who know so much more then i do...but hee...they are my brothers and sisters...and they are yours too...so they will help you and me any way they can. You found family Richard...and love goes so much further then knowledge.

Your brother in Christ

Robin



« Last Edit: September 14, 2008, 01:34:38 PM by Sirach »
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James

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2008, 04:15:33 AM »

You are absoulutely right Richard D, and you have diagnosed your own problem :
you have a bad case of retained christitanity:o

The false doctrine that you need to let got rid of  is
" I have to do everything and be perfect for God to want me and I can go to heaven "

The true doctrine...you cannot attain righteousness on your own

(Mat 19:17 KJVR)  And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.   Jesus knews that no one can keep the commandments...we are flesh

The first commandment is to keep the Sabbath...spiritually that means to totally rest in God to work a work in you. You are just His servant

As a "worthless" servant rejoice that God has opened your eyes and ears, isn't that marvelous start
[Beloved

God's blessings to you Richard as you ponder this marvelous quote from Beloved that touches me as well.  It's God that does the work in us, not OF us, because then we'd think we had something to boast about.  He loves us (you), warts and all.  Sometimes when we're at our "holiest", we can actually be far off path...Jesus came for the sick, and thank God He still comes for/to the sick...we're the ones that need The Physician.  God's blessing, James.
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Robin

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2008, 05:36:22 AM »

Great post Beloved.

It took me years to stop asking how do I do it.
I wanted to please God so much that I wanted to clean myself up. Thank God I failed miserably. When God showed me what a beast I really was I knew the task was impossible for me to accomplish.

The church teaches us to clean up the outside and to have an appearance of righteousness.

Matthew 23:

 25"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

Mark 10:
26The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?"
27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

I thought once that God would change me and I would become a "somebody". I know now that I will not change into an important person on this earth. I will always just be a pot, a vessel that God uses for his purpose.

Romans 9

16So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.

21Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

2 Corinthians 4
 7But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

Philippians 2:
 13For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
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David

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2008, 08:50:37 AM »

Hi Richard.

If I may, I'd like to just be frank with you on this issue. In fact I'm not much good at being anything other than frank, its the "British" in me...lol.

From what you've said here, and reading between the lines of some of your other recent posts, I'm getting from it that your biggest problem right now is patience and waiting on the Lord. I hope that does not offend, that is not my intent here.
We all study and learn in the time we have available, and at our own pace with the ability to absorb what we are reading that GOD has given us.
Some learn quicker than others, some have more time than others.
I'm blessed in that I have plenty of free time to study due to the nature of my work. I'm not so blessed when it comes to picking up things very fast, I have to read and re read many times before things sink in. That's where God has me and I am content with that. That God has revealed anything at all to me I count as a blessing, and it humbles me greatly that He should choose me.
So I say again brother, be patient, study diligently in the time you have to do so, wait on the Lord, have faith that God will reveal truths to you in the time He has appointed for you.
You have started on a path that is very long and sometimes seems to have ground to a halt, pray for guidance and stay on it. God is faithful.
YBIC
David
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2008, 09:01:20 AM »

Richard,

             Isaiah. 26:9 " When thy Judgements are in the Earth, they will all learn Righteouness. " Notice the word WHEN, showing this takes place at a future time and isn't taking place when Isaiah wrote this, but verse 10 is the present state of affairs. So everyone(all) will learn righteousness, not now, but WHEN(in the future).

            This is one of Rays favorite Scriptures, according to an Email from the home page, check it out, you'll find it.

                                 Kind Regards, Samson.
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mrl1970

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2008, 10:18:23 AM »

Pray for knowledge and wisdom.
Perhaps this will help http://bible-truths.com/praying.htm

Remember to humble yourself before him.
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chuckt

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2008, 11:37:22 AM »

Quote
It is amazing to me what God done with me with just a couple of truths I received since I come to Bible Truths and this forum. I only started to read the lake of fire series 4 maybe its been 5 weeks now and only about one week with this forum but if you could see the change in me then you would understand why I feel like I do.

dearest richard....

RELAX, i too was raise catholic and went through other denominations, i found rays site 4 YEARS ago, and im telling you, RELAX!!

God timing is perfect, it has not been easy for me and still doctrines, thoughts, patterns, etc are still being burned out of me, its hard at times but i am STILL learning to rejoice in ALL things giving thanks to him who is working in me.

stay in study of the word and dont spread yourself thin, dont be anxious...please! DONT BE ANXIOUS!! and you find  you go"" to and fro "" LESS AND LESS.


the battle will rage till you put off this body of death.

rest in the truth and be cool, you are FINE. hang in there and give thanks!


i cling to this: CLING I TELL YA !


Chapter 13
1 If I should be speaking in the languages of men and of the messengers, yet should have no love, I have become resounding copper or a clanging cymbal.
2 And if I should have prophecy and should be perceiving all secrets and all knowledge, and if I should have all faith, so as to transport mountains, yet have no love, I am nothing.3 And if ever I should be morselling out all my possessions, and if I should be giving up my body, that I should be boasting, yet may have no love, in nothing do I benefit.
4 Love is patient, is kind. Love is not jealous. Love is not bragging, is not puffed up,
5 is not indecent, is not self-seeking, is not incensed, is not taking account of evil,
6 is not rejoicing in injustice, yet is rejoicing together with the truth,
7 is forgoing all, is believing all, is expecting all, is enduring all.
8 Love is never lapsing: yet, whether prophecies, they will be discarded, or languages, they will cease, or knowledge, it will be discarded.
9 For out of an instalment are we knowing, and out of an instalment are we prophesying.
10 Now whenever maturity may be coming, that which is out of an instalment shall be discarded.
11 When I was a minor, I spoke as a minor, I was disposed as a minor, I took account of things as a minor. Yet when I have become a man, I have discarded that which is a minor's.
12 For at present we are observing by means of a mirror, in an enigma, yet then, face to face. At present I know out of an instalment, yet then I shall recognize according as I am recognized also.
13 Yet now are remaining faith, expectation, love -- these three. Yet the greatest of these is love.



inlove
chuckt
« Last Edit: October 01, 2008, 11:40:32 AM by chuckt »
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OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2008, 12:13:11 PM »

Hi Richard,

What you maybe unaware or hazy about is...God writes His commandments in our hearts.
You are already in possession of what you are seeking, it's inside you.

You do not need to seek to be like some of the others here, whom we greatly admire.
You are already bringing something to this forum, your humility, your desire to know Him better,
your gift for words.  You are already accepted and one of us, subject to God's will.

Do keep seeking & studying the scriptures as they help us separate the carnal mind, from the pot we are becoming.
Each post started by whomever, becomes greater than the initial intent, as many of those here, will add to it much more.  I hear some frustration in your posts, [Forgive if I'm wrong] I sense that you may be tormented by something that causes you to dislike yourself.  Whatever it may be, it does not make you "lower" or less worthy.
None of us is worthy.

We are all to see ourselves as servants to one another, and not be prideful in our talents/gifts/knowledge.
We are to see our brothers & sisters as more important than us, and treat them accordingly.  Going back to what Beloved shared, you are still seeing yourself as an individual trying to fit in.  You already fit in, not of your own righteousness or works, but God's will.

As we grow here together, we will all be smoothed in our rough places, shined up wear we are dull. You will find joy in the midst of the congregation.

Peace,
Brenda

« Last Edit: October 01, 2008, 04:00:19 PM by OBrenda »
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tinknocker

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2008, 03:25:20 PM »

Richard

You did it again! You took me back five years when I first came across BT. The feelings you are expressing are the same feelings I had five years ago.
The difference is you jumped right into the forum and started posting. It took me five years before I felt comfortable enough to start posting. You said;
[font=Verdana]It is amazing to me what God done with me with just a couple of truths I received since I come to Bible Truths and this forum. I only started to read the lake of fire series 4 maybe its been 5 weeks now and only about one week with this forum but if you could see the change in me then you would understand why I feel like I do.[/font]
My reply to you is look at Paul's journey as your example. For the first 3 years after Paul's conversion He is not heard from. What happened to him?
He was being untaught all his religious beliefs and relearning God's truths! Was Paul ready then to go to the Gentiles with the Good News? God must of not thought so because God did not send Him out for another 10 years. A total of 13 years before Paul started his mission that God had called him to. You have just started in this walk my brother. Paul was given the greatest understanding of all the Apostiles but it was not overnight. 13 years is a lot of years for Paul to learn patience. Do you think Paul was anxious to get on with it? Absolutely! It was his character before his encounter on the road to Damasscus.
When I get discouraged with my own progress I have to go back and remember Pauls progress. After 13 years without you seeing any change in you then you can be concerned ;) But I know your already changing, I read it in your posts.
It is not in our hands to determine our steps;
Proverbs 16:9   A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD determines his steps. 

For me something that comes easy is forgotten. I have to fight for it to remember it and the harder I fight for it the greater value it has.

Also know that God said to study to show thyself approved. It doesn't say understand it does it? No it doesn't because only God knows what you are ready to understand and He will reveal it to you when you are ready and not before.

Hope this helps in your journey

Your brother in this walk
tinknocker
« Last Edit: October 01, 2008, 03:37:05 PM by tinknocker »
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Marlene

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2008, 04:02:07 AM »

Richard, You have been a blessing to me. I have not believed all this very long myself. I remember as a child thinking about god all the time. Never got to involved  into church till I was 26. The year before that I had an experience I never forgot. I was just married about a year. The lord was drawing him to me. I had sin I needed to repent of. I was about to cross a rail road track. I had a brand new 1979 Bonneville. I looked that train right in the light. Right before that I had heard you could not out run a train they never blew there whistle I did not even see it till I was on the track. It felt as if something lifted up my car and pushed be across the track. I could not stop crying. I knew it had to be gods protection on me. I was sitting at home one day and he came to me. When, my husband got home he thought I had gone mad. He said, "What is wrong with you. I then told him that I had spent the day with the lord. He, also believe that day. No, church was needed there. But, then we got into church thinking it was the right thing to do. Well, I have lots of health issues now. I was not able to go to church much. I started spending time like I use to before church one on one with the Lord.  I had a blood stream infection with 109 fever  and laid on a cooling blanket for a week. Fever around 107. Took 48 hours to find a antibiotic to help. Most people would be in a coma. Not me. He kept me awake for it all. There I really learned who was in control. After that I started questioning all of the churches beliefs. I went back to church but god had a plan for me to leave. All those months my minister never came to see me at home. When, I did go he started preaching about tithe I had so many medicals bills we could not pay it. I had to quit work. My second week back he  preached on tithe and said he did not know what anyone gave. That was his first mistake some had left because of that then he took the amount we gave each week and said it was not enough. He didnt know how much money my huband made. His first mistake was he lied up there his second was he said god might kill someone who robs god. Needless to say we never returned. I put in the word hell on the computer and up came Ray's website. So here I am. Through, it I realized I did not even know him from all the things church taught me. I repented cause as a child I knew he was love, I repented that I am sorry I didnt know your character after all the years you showed me love even when I sinned. There is a song called Broken and Spilled out I use to sing it, it says like a prisoner set free. Praise his holy name. I will never be the same or would want to. Just wanted to say you and everone on her is blessing to me. Also, I forgive that minister cause he does not know what he has done just like me. And, I will keep him in my prayers.
God Bless
Marlene
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Richard D

  • Guest
Re: A difficult post for me!
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2008, 02:11:06 PM »

Marlene


Thank you for sharing youíre story with me. My heart goes out to you my friend. I can relate to what youíre telling me, itís strange how God preserves us and then leads us to His truths.

You know, I always felt God presence in my life but something was just not right. I could never quite understand what it was, although I knew sin was and issue as Iím not perfect and subjected to error.

I would always ask God to forgive me for my sins but never really felt it. Sometimes I did but then I thought afterwards I was deceiving myself to think God would forgive me.

I would always remember that scripture ( If  you ask to be forgiven then Jesus is faithful and just to forgive ) I had difficulties believing this scripture because I was still dealing with a belief system that said God was going to send billions of people to hell basically.

So then I tried loving God because I knew if I did not love God he would send me there also. Then I started thinking if I love God to elude hell, God will see through me and send me there anyways because I donít love Him but only fear Him.

I came to my end and simply ask God straight out, I said, Lord with all the different regions on earth how am I to know which one to believe. If I were born in the Middle East I would believe as they do or another place as they do there.

Just show me the truth please, is that too much to ask for. And Marlene, thatís when it happen ,one night I was on my computer and next thing I know, Iím reading Rayís papers and after about five or six weeks of reading Rayí papers I join the forum.

Now Iíam starting to see through the worldís religious system realizing that Satan had done a number on me. But only now can I look back and see what the church has done to me.

Marlene, like me and everyone else here, God has lead you here also. Believe that because itís true.

Iím happy for you Marlene that you are here now

 Youíre friend and brother in our Lord and savior Jesus. Richard. God bless you sister.  :)
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