Kat and Walt, You have some very good ideas. I have tried to talk about the good memories. Sometimes, she gets really mad at me. I have always praised her for the wonderful Mother she has been and is. But, if I say anything nice about him its like she is jealous. Like she doesn't want to hear. I know definitely she is having trouble forgiving. She is so unhappy. One night I asked her if I could pray for her and when i went over she pushed my hand away. Another, time I told her when she kept talking about all his bad maybe she needed to take it to God. She said"I don't want to." I guess maybe God will have to bring her to that place where she wants to. My Mother is a very moral person. Actually, I think she sees all the big things as sins. She tells me she is nothing and that is how he made her feel. But, I know he did have some very nice things about him. He even had concern about her living alone when he died. I told her she is valuable to all her children and to God. She told me she would have not gone back to him except she was going to have my sister and her parents were getting old. So, there we see a cause as to why she stayed. That would proof what Ray says, about a cause for choices we make.
Every great now and then she will say she misses him. Then if she hears anyone talk about men cheating on tv she gets to thinking about him. My Mom has always been like Martha. Working, now she is not able she is 87. Now, she has time to think. If, you would see her face you would know carrying all those thoughts are hurting her inside. All, I can say is its in his hands. Keep me in your Prayers. I have always been the child to want to fix things for people. She would even call me while they were fighting. My husband felt bad for me, cause he knew I hate to fight. I am the youngest, and my father always told me I was strong. But, for the most part of my life god has been my strength. He is all I have. I just want you all to keep me in your Prayers, because of yet she is still very unhappy.
In His Love,
Marlene
P.S. I guess this is part of my trials. But, now I have learned I can't be the savior for people with problems.