Hello Peggy,
I was moved by your Post and will extend Prayers in your behalf. Obviously, I don't know
all of your circumstances involved in the Household setting. Knowing the fact that you've
experienced such severe Physical Abuse that potentially could lead to serious injury or
death, moves my Heart to hope you can and will remove yourself from this environment.
All of us are greatly influenced by the environment we experienced growing up. We tend
to choose relationships that provide a similar environment or Scenario that we experienced
while growing up and unconsciously choosing relationships with people that provide what
we are used to, as being " Normal. " This seems to be the case, based on what you stated
in your initial Post.
It's God's Plan that we learn from these experiences of Good/Evil. If we didn't experience
Evil in different area's of life, we wouldn't able to contrast that with the Good. In this
particular area of life(Relationships), I genuinely hope that you've experienced more than
enough of this abusive behavior to CAUSE YOU to completely remove yourself from this
kind of relationship, permanently.
My apologies if I come off as being somewhat forward in my response, but it saddens me
to hear that you continue to suffer in this situation for so long. I can understand, at least
to some extent, what you might be going through. Why and How can I make that claim.
BECAUSE, AT LEAST TO SOME DEGREE, I WAS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND, AN ABUSER, mostly
of the verbal kind. And believe me, I had a " Good " Teacher growing up, my verbally abusive
Father who degraded my Mother's Family and constantly called me stupid during my early
teenage years. For a certainty, I wasn't taught how to respect Women by observing my
Male Role Model(My Father). When I eventually write my WHO AM I testimony, I'll go into
more detail. A string of Marriages were severely damaged by my behavior, this is not to
say my Marriage Mates of the past were perfect Angels, but nevertheless, my reactions
and behavior were inexcusable.
Personally, from experience, in most cases, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR stems from the DESIRE or
NEED to CONTROL other people, a CONTROL FREAK, this is usually done by the abuser to
control their environment and prevent things from turning out different from the ABUSERS
EXPECTATIONS of how " things should be". Once the desire to control other people was
recognized and dealt with, I was able to make significant progress. It still affects me and
looms in the shadow of my personality, but as the saying goes: " I've come a long way baby."
One last thing, as you probably already know, you can't change the behavior of an ABUSER,
only God can remove their desire to do this and usually CAUSE/EFFECT(Choices) will lead to
the eventual change in the ABUSER'S behavior. It may not happen in this lifetime(Age).
Certainly the ABUSER, can't do it, on their own. I remember praying to God, reading the
pertinent Scriptures relating to Marriage and how to treat your Wife and really wanting to
change and no matter how hard I prayed and tried and studied related Scripture, I couldn't
break the habit.
Before I sign off, I would strongly suggest you see the Movie entitled, FIREPROOF. It's
about a Marriage breaking up and what transpires thereafter, you might be beyond this,
in yours, but I will tell you, I couldn't stop crying, as much as I tried. I took my 14 year
old Daughter, to see it, she said it was the best Movie she ever saw. It stars Kirk Cameron,
although I certainly don't share his Theology, the Movie certainly sheds much value in
regards to Marriage relationships.
In God's Love & Guidance, Samson.
Author
Topic: prayer (Read 10122 times)