Some Universal Truths

[deftarchangel]

Got this in an e-mail today.  I would actually have to agree with most, if not all, of them!  Enjoy.



PETER KAY'S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

       1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

       2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

       3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

       4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

       5) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

       6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

       7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

       8 ) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

       9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

       10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

       11) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

       12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

       13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

       14) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

       15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

       16) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

       17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

[deftarchangel]

Hi GIG,

I sort of imagined #14 relating to guys who carry small dogs (like the ones Paris Hilton carries all the time).  In the case of your husband, I'd say that's a valid exception to the rule!   

As for #15, I had vaguely heard about it, but I think it's more of a Eurorpean or British urban legend, as after googling the subject, there were more articles centered around it being a thing British children grew up with.  And the guy, Peter Kay, is British, so maybe the urban legend is more prevalent there than in N.A.


 

[grapehound]

I think the Swan 'myth' has probably been spread  by the fact the The Queen officially 'owns' every Swan in England.
I'm not sure that it isn't included in Magna Carta.

In bygone times, one could be hung for the taking of a deer from the New Forest, but the Crown's ownership of Swans is still law, so maybe it was a warning to stay clear of 'em.
Apparently the meat of a Swan is delicious.

Don't be getting any ideas Dennis V, you stick to Hummingbirds; the worst they can do is choke ya!   

[grapehound]

Janine; Didn't ya know too many Hummingbirds could choke ya?

[Dave in Tenn]

It's impossible to look masculine while drinking through a straw.

He could be full of muscles and covered with tattoos, but as soon as his lips purse to draw liquid through a straw, he loses claim to macho.

[daywalker]

#12 ... I have no idea why, but it's so very true!