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mharrell08:
Patric,
I agree with Doug's response, he is giving you sound counsel...it would be wise to listen and take heed. Try to take things one day at a time.
Marques
G. Driggs:
--- Quote from: Patric on January 21, 2010, 09:40:03 AM ---I am attracted to her but not in some lustful way that is wrong....I see her as a daughter of God....and one whom could help me as I help her in our walk here on earth to be changed into God's image of what he said in Genesis...
--- End quote ---
Dave and Doug gave you some very good advice.
No one can "help" you to be changed into the image of God, besides God.
If you can control yourself, and are not burning with lust, then stay single. I want to reiterate, restate and back up what the brothers are trying to tell you. Please pay attention to all the words.
1Co 7:1 Now I want to deal with the things you wrote me about. Some of you say, "It is good for a man not to have sex with a woman."
1Co 7:2 But since there is so much sexual sin, each man should have his own wife. And each woman should have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 A husband should satisfy his wife's sexual needs. And a wife should satisfy her husband's sexual needs.
1Co 7:4 The wife's body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife.
1Co 7:5 You shouldn't stop giving yourselves to each other except when you both agree to do so. And that should be only to give yourselves time to pray for a while. Then you should come together again. In that way, Satan will not tempt you when you can't control yourselves.
1Co 7:9 But if you can't control yourselves, you should get married. It is better to get married than to burn with sexual longing.
Better to seek the kingdom of God first, give Him all your undivided attention.
1Co 7:32 I don't want you to have anything to worry about. A single man is concerned about the Lord's matters. He wants to know how he can please the Lord.
1Co 7:33 But a married man is concerned about the matters of this world. He wants to know how he can please his wife.
1Co 7:34 His concerns pull him in two directions. A single woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord's matters. She wants to serve the Lord with both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the matters of this world. She wants to know how she can please her husband.
1Co 7:35 I'm saying those things for your own good. I'm not trying to hold you back. I want you to be free to live in a way that is right. I want you to give yourselves completely to the Lord.
Mat 6:32 "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
Mat 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Luk 12:30 "For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things.
Luk 12:31 "But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
I can personally vouch that it is a little tougher to serve the Lord when you are married, which is why I think Paul says it is better to stay single. Not to mention the kids, but I would not trade any of it for being single.
Also read this, it might help.
Feb. 2007 Bible Study
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
[Is a License and a Ceremony Required?]
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5675.0.html
Hope this helps
Peace, G.Driggs
Roy Coates:
praying for you Patric. Peace, comfort, understanding and grace to you in the name of Jesus
Patric:
Hope this helps in understanding what is going on....and that I do not offend anyone with my comments....I do appreciate all the input so far...yet there is lust in my heart...deep dark fantasies(my thorn)....and if having lust is the only reason for marriage....then I must be blind...I am looking for a helper....a spiritual woman whom God will reveal the other side of himself to me in....and you are still using what Paul calls the 'gift'....I do not claim to have the gift...and like I said people are getting married in droves ahead of me(Spiritual as well as worldly)....I feel I am being cheated out of on something good here...after all God says it is not good for man to be alone....teenagers get married...young 20 somethings and 30 somethings while I am 41 and still deprived and have desired this for 25+ years!....there has been much lust in my heart for many different women...yet I denied myself or ran away...and thought I was doing a righteous thing....and claimed to be content meaning I realize that life is but a mist and that sex was dirty or bad yet no one seeks to remain single on purpose! I was told that this is better....better for who? and I see nothing Spiritual in being single....in fact the older I become it seems I become more odd and hermit like....not understanding 1/2 of human nature because I am not one flesh with what God says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife....will not God use others to transform me into his image....wife....children....friends....relatives....and even strangers? the mystery of the Church is Christ is the husband of the bride....shall I not imitate that and be the husband of a wife? It is my lust and fantasies that burn within me...if not for these I would be in the words of most that know me a 'good' person....LOL yet I know I am not good.... I know God has given me this weakness so I will be humble....not humiliated....yet I am familiar with such all too easily....I fear for the lack of me being graphic enough....most of you are missing what I am asking for....and telling me to remain as I am(trapped in lust and fantasy)....I do not wish to remain as I am...the whole point is that God needs to change me into his image....and still none of you have offered any advice on courting a woman....is it that big of a mystery that no one knows? are we all clueless yet a huge percentage of people have sex....and burn with lust and marry....whether in the Church or in the flesh....."in his heart a man plans his course of action, but it is the Lord whom determines his steps" If i fail to make plans...then I can tell you the course of action that will happen....NOTHING....but if I dream and pray...and do something...then God will determine my steps which will not be nothing....so if I seek not a wife....I can be sure of this...I will not ever be married...it will not happen if i refuse to seek it....all your advice and scriptures I have taken to heart...and trust me I have sought them out for 20 years...and others give me sound teaching from 'Babylon' and yet still no one ever remained single or claimed to have this 'gift' Paul spoke of....and they encourage you to marry....why? because it has value....it is not as if I am eunuch or making myself a eunuch for the Kingdom of God here....I was not born such...and I am not made so by men....nor do I want to renounce it....I suppose I am asking the wrong questions....or not graphic enough about what I thought was the problem(lack of real guidance) versus just doing what everyone else does...including Godly people....they get married...me saying I am content is more of a selfish comment then something of value....I am getting set in my ways....humbled by my own flesh...but missing out on something God intended....for all of his children....and yes I read and listened to and read this http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5675.0.html just yesterday in fact....was eye opening....
I am shy...not a Don Juan by any such stretch of the imagination....with deep dark fantasies....lust...passion....and yet I have always run from women...or men...or anyone that would pursue me for intimate or sexual desire....please tell me some advice to further friendship into a covenant..... how does one court a woman and become her husband if no one ever gives me the how to? I am not a fool.....I know how to attract women...that is easy....I am asking for Godly values but maybe there are none other then burning with lust and desire? that seems more worldly to me then the unbelievers! I am asking for a spiritual help mate, friend, lover, wife. woman, rib, daughter of God, helper, so that I can become one flesh here....please open your eyes and see what it is I am asking....practical advice...on moving past friendly philio Love into Eros and Agape as well as storge love....can anyone tell me or counsel me on finding a wife? if not then I will find one....trust me...that is the easy part! I want God's will....and for all I know I will never marry...and burn with lust and passion and be haunted with fantasy....but Paul says that is bad! who in their right mind wants something that is bad? that argument is not solid food which I seek....but milk...and trust me as we all know the church in Corinth was very carnally minded for sure....this is not the directive on how to get married...but the corrective way for those who were in lust and passion...desire...cuz they were in sin no? I need to learn to live with a wife and not burn with my dark desires which are going in the total opposite direction...my idea of sex and cuckold relationships as well as all the backwards ideas they have produced for I waited soooooo long are not helping....I do not see this as the reason I would want to marry....instead these things are my thorn.....burning with desire...lust....fantasy...cuckold ideas for relationships....backwards concepts of sexuality having been abused...and own mind telling and showing me what is attractive or desirable.....Song of Songs is an ultimate expression of man/woman love I am after that as well....but not of the flesh first....it is spiritual help mate, friend, lover, wife. woman, rib, daughter of God, wife that I seek to be one flesh....to understand the mystery of the Church in it spiritually as well....I will not learn this if I have the 'gift' or deny myself and do not seek it...and i am in no hurry....as 99.747343% of all humanity is....I understand Spiritual things....through what I have suffered and been shown...God has revealed things to me as he does with his elect...yet I am too humble to see myself as having arrived...I press on......yet I will not boast in my flesh of what I am or have gone through...to me all that is worthless in comparison to anyone else and my standard is Jesus...I am not strong enough to go alone....Father I see your will....and i want a wife....my flesh wants it as well....my spirit all cry out for this....and humbly I can say....not my will be done...but yours....
that is my contentment.....
Amrhrasach:
--- Quote ---there is a woman whom I am attracted to and we are like minded
--- End quote ---
--- Quote --- how does one court, fall in love, win the heart of, romance, song of songs love, win the attention of, swoon, date, and ultimately marry and have covenant with a woman of God?
--- End quote ---
--- Quote --- and still none of you have offered any advice on courting a woman....is it that big of a mystery that no one knows?
--- End quote ---
Mystery?
Not at all.
Allow me to be frank for a few words and then I’ll go back to being plain ol’ horseman.
After a few “dates”, provided you two make it that far, she’ll make sure you know just exactly the where…..the what….and the how…. to continue to do things that please her. If you don’t….continue…to please her then I’m almost positive she’ll let you know the how, when and where to exit. And should that be the case then don’t put the cart before the horse and worry about marriage. If you DO continue to please her and eventually are married, I along with a tra-zillion other husbands on this planet, past and present, can almost virtually GUARANTEE you that every day thereafter you’ll be presented with PRECISE instructions for securing your stay in that “heavenly” cloud in this life. As for this "thorn" you speak of, no don't tell me I don't want to know, is not something that a woman who is showered with continuous love, affection and kindness, will find to be a stone-wall barrier in marriage.
Think I’m kidding about all this? Ask any other married man, or woman for that matter.
Remember, you asked. I don't know how speak it other than just plain english. Hope I don't offend you, or any other. If I do, well, I'm sure I'll know soon enough.
Other than that, I believe the above posts by Gdriggs, Arion and Dave are flawless.
Gary
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