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In need of some clarification.

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Grace:
If you don't mind, I would like to answer these questions. (my comments in bold)


--- Quote ---Questions for self examination..
Do you love righteousness? YES Do you hate wickedness? YES Do you want to see righteousness established?  Does your own wickedness make you mourn? YES

Do you love people? I mean deeply. Even in people you disgree with, or are evil.  YES, I may get angry but, I ask Him to change me Can you see past that, do you still love some deep part of them? Can you see them repenting? YES  Can you see what they could be? Would you like to weep with them, while they repent of their sins and call on Jesus?  Can you even love the deceived ones in the church? Appreciate the good anyone does for Jesus?YES, 24/7 I think of these things.  That's all I can think about

Would you like to see evil stomped out of the earth? YES, but not the people, sometimes I wants smack them but then I know if I did I would feel so badly I wouldn't dare Does everything about Christ make your heart and spirit soar? I thought so but, now I might just be mad at Him because if he had changed all these things when I was younger perhaps I would still have my husband and he would be alive] Do you love it when you feel His approval? That's all I want Do you desperately desire to have your first love, with all your new maturity?   Would you defend Christ? Do blasphemers and athiests make you sad, though you never hate them for it, just sad? Do they seem utterly foolish to you? [/] YES YES AND YES, sometimes I want to pinch them but I don't I just don't know how to get their attention......so I just sit there because of the way I've been handling it has run everyone off around me and I get sick of hearing all the baloney coming from false doctrines that make me so angry I could scream.    This has made me angry since I was young but, I don't know what to do about it.  I never have.  I hate to hurt other people....so I finally just quit.  Every now and then something hits a nerve though and I just can't help exploding  and then feel guilty over that[/b]
--- End quote ---
 I ask myself, ok God, why did you make me such a worrier all my life and so concerned about other people and not wanting to hurt them but yet, I do....I have...and obviously I have had to resist certain proud statements that I was well trained in the synagogues that made my skin crawl and my blood boil but, do I love the ones who are deceived?..Yes, absolutely....If I hadn't sounded like sounding brass and a tinkling symbol I might still have my husband, son, grandbaby.  Now, they are all gone and I may have (spiritually killed them. with all the "churched knowledge I got (which was very little...and constant proud bellowing out in my ear every day about how proud my family was and it was supposed to be such an admirable thing that made me want to vomit so I'm sure it made God want to do the same thing..at least I pray that I didn't...So why did he wait until i'm getting so much older to show me these things that may have caused me to have my family or a set of parents that taught me the real values from scripture and not just the material crap I was hammered with my whole life?  Does that make me angry with God about some stuff? YES!![/b])  I didn't stay in the "churches" for long because I could see it was all just a theater and I found it very boring and a waste of my time....but didnt' get out long enough before I picked up a bunch of religious garbage that didn't even come close to what scripture says.  I could go on and on telling you events if you're interested but I won't cause here I am ....a total mess of a person who loves the people around me so deeply I can't stand the thought of watching them go through the LOF because of perhaps total garbage that I myself participated in teaching them at times, especially my children.  Am I angry with God? Yes, sometimes I have no clue why He makes things so painful for some and see others sitting right in there in their little churches every single Sunday, never pick up their bible excpet on perhaps Wed. nght service and then try to tell me how to live my life.  That's what makes me feel like Paul because when he boasted of his shipwrecks,etc....and all his sufferings he didin't want to boast but he did to make a point....I wish I knew what part I'm playing here. If i'm to die for Him, I'm ready to go.  If not, show me what to do or not do....something!!   That's what I thought I was doing from the day I came in here and is why I poured my heart out in here.  If it sounded self righteous.....God knows my heart and maybe I should have been careful of my wording.  But, what's done is done, so there is that and now, as far as I'm concerned with, it's all in He is in his hands.  I feel like Jacob too sometimes asking Rachel....AM I GOD that I can give you a son?????  If I need to be rebuked, go ahead.  I can take it.  I may go off and cry and pout for a few days but I'll be back sooner or later....then You will know I'm not physically dead (speaking plainly here).  Do I feel humble....if you only knew!!  So much so that I couldn't speak for several days.  Sometimes the worst things that hurt the most make you humble.  I'm just hoping there is no more pride left to be burned out of me because this forum was the last one in those rebukes for that...I had plenty more before I came here and much repenting to do. And as a side note, to the person who used that rebuke, it was just the thing I needed. (Ouch)

Sorry Zander  ;)  Didn't mean to take over your thread.

Grace

Deborah-Leigh:



I think that you will most certainly reach clarity if you stay humbly on your path through difficult times Zander.  I wish you well ~ :)

Arc

mmijares:

--- Quote from: zander on June 07, 2011, 01:13:21 PM ---This verse below:

"And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with MANY STRIPES. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with FEW STRIPES. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more." (Luke 12:47-48)

OK so now i "know" the truths of God.  Not all but some, many, i dont know.  What i mean is i know the ending is going to be good for all and i basically understand what God's will is.

However, as i am still basically human and i sin, does this mean i am in for a harsh time in the LOF because i am not a "avid follower" of the word?  I mean im a normal guy, i do normal things.  I might lie on the odd occasion and do small stuff like that, but ive not killed anyone, robbed a house etc.  The again, neither am i Ray or anyone who is a avid follower.

But at the same time because i "know" the lord's will, what does this mean to me?  Am i screwed?  SHOULD i be therefore like Ray or anyone else who is following God to the tee?

Any help?

--- End quote ---

Zander,

One of the most important things I learned from the scriptures thru Ray is that I am a lawbreaker however little my sins seem to be.  Which means it does not matter whether or not I only lied, or I only coveted, or I only stole a little, I only put God's name occassionally and others murder, others rape, etc..etc.. I'm still a lawbreaker.  I'm the same compare to others.  I cannot boast.

Similarly, I cannot make myself follow "God to the tee" unless He makes me.  There is a desire, I can feel it hence I pray daily and ask Him to keep this desire He gave to be ever kindled.  I wait for the time I will become "fully blown" spiritually.  If God willing, I really really like to see what is it like to be in the first resurrection.  But I don't know where to start.  Study and pray, I guess?  Then apply what is learned with God's guidance, perhaps?

By faith you will feel, know, sense that there is A POWER that is making you to become someone that you are not before.

-Mij

(Sorry, I am not good in expressing myself in English, worst in giving personal advice.  Funny, I sometimes think, does God only want English-speaking people to be in the first resurrection?)

zander:
To the person who asked me if i want to be a normal guy.  I am saying normal as in i am human.  Obviously  am not going to put my biography here.  There are things/talents about me i feel stand out (thank God) but why express that here?  It would be straying from my point.

I didnt really understand the race analogy.  The fact is, as i have said a few times here, i am not currently even wanting to run that race.  Why put effort into it then?

On another note, there must be thousands of people who "know" these truths but dont necessarily apply them to every day life like they maybe should - so just leading their normal lives, normally.

I still dont get why anyone should recieve harsher treatment for knowing and not applying if they have no desire (or should i say little desire) to apply.  i dont get that.  Again, its a bit like saying if you dont do a, b, c you go to hell...and everyone remembers that mental conundrum, dont they?

Kat:

Hi Zander,


--- Quote ---Just seems unfair if i am going to get hammered for having something i didnt ask for and then having to be something i am not, with it.  Hate to say this but for the first time it feels like when i was taught Church stuff that if i don't do a, b or c i would go to hell, whilst i was thinking "hang on, i cant help what i do.." Is there an answer that makes sense?
--- End quote ---

When you are judged here or later it will be JUST. God would only hammer those that needed it to learn how to live right. Don't worry that the punishment will exceed the crime, so to speak, He will give each exactly what each needs no more and no less.

You make not have much of a desire now, but you are here and seeking and that is a start. The parable of the mustard seed comes to mind... we all start out with the earnest of the spirit, a tiny amount (mustard seeds are very tiny). We have to nourish this seed/Holy Spirit and feed it spiritual food for it to grow. Yes all is of God and this is something He will continually nudge us to do. Are You being nudged right now? He makes us see the need and then start to act on it. We will not change over night, but what is the change that needs to come? Is it that anyone that sees us knows we are religious, because we just look righteous? Is it you spend a certain amount (lots) of time on your knees in pray everyday? Do you seek out as many as you possibly can do charitable works, so the world can see your "good works"? I don't think it is really any of these things.

The Holy Spirit guides you daily to overcome your faults, but it is a process that takes time. He shows us a sin and little by little we work to remove it; first we only recognize it (lying, petty thief, anger, cussing, coveting, judging others are things that come to mind), but we know these are wrong and hate that we do them and want to stop it. The hate of it grows as we continue on doing it until we actually start to catch it before sometimes, then catch it more and more till we don't do it anymore. As I said this can be a very slow process, but over time you begin to overcome these things one by one. I will say that He does at times removes a fault almost instantly, it happens. That to me is dying daily, getting ride of the carnal desires. As you can see almost all of these sins are directed towards others, so putting others before yourself is the key.

But a very important thing is coming to 'know' Christ! I see this as communication with Him back and forth, I talk to Him all the time, not out loud usually and He talks to me in the Scriptures and in meditation. This is vital spiritual food that we must have to grow spiritually. Here is a section from another thread that seems to fit here.

http://bible-truths.com/lake8.html --------------------------------------------

"To him that overcomes will I give to eat of the hidden manna" (Rev. 2:17).

We can’t grow spiritually unless we eat SPIRITUAL FOOD. When we eat of Christ’s spiritual body, we grow spiritually; when we stop eating spiritual food we spiritually starve and spiritually die. If we eat spiritual food, we grow, we mature, we are "continuing in Christ’s word" and Christ word is spirit and therefore spiritual food.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi mmijares,


--- Quote ---Sorry, I am not good in expressing myself in English, worst in giving personal advice.  Funny, I sometimes think, does God only want English-speaking people to be in the first resurrection?
--- End quote ---

That made me chuckle  :D  You speak very well. Actually in the next age I hope He will give the elect one pure language to speak, maybe the whole world too, kind of reverse it back to before Babel or something.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

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