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Losing the will to live... Feels like I was born in Hell
lilitalienboi16:
I had originally removed my post because it seemed overwhelmingly that my interpretation of the OP was in the minority.
I leaned much more towards Johns perspective on the matter, minus the "hate" part.
The OP seemed to need a good "kick in the butt" or "wake up" and less of the "mememe" as I had originally put it.
I see now, after craigs responce, that it is wrong for me to hide what I felt God was leading me to say.
I Post this in clear conscious but with a lack of information from the OP as well. I can only comment on what it seems to me is occuring.
My biggest reason for what I was feeling was "Losing the will to live..."
I know I can be overly harsh on myself because of my sinful behavior but I don't think that is the same as believing I'm curse and that I don't want to live anymore. I tend to take my overly harshness as my nakedness being exposed. It is a painful thing to realize.
This post, however, feels different.
I feel like a politician now... going back and forth but I guess its not right for me to throw my thought on the matter out, especially if I feel it spoken in clear conscious, and then retract it due to being in a minority.
I do love all my brothers and sisters in Christ dearly!
Words of Wisdom were once spoken: Open rebuke is better than secret love.
I'm not accusing anyone of "secret love" or "the kiss of death," merely speaking of my own self and what moves me to respond as I did and as I am now.
With love,
Alex
P.S. Please don't take my post as a "choosing of sides" merely something I had to do to clear up my conscious in this matter as it was bugging me.
Extol:
Some have suggested feeling thankful by comparing yourselves to others who are in a worse situation. This method has been helpful to me time and time again...when I've been sick, when I've been lonely, when I've been out of money, etc.
I learned about this method from one of my favorite books, Robinson Crusoe. His father told him to be thankful and content with the very ordinary life he had--because he was a lot better off than the poverty-stricken, and he didn't have all the headaches and worries that come with being rich. After he was shipwrecked on a lonely, far-off island, Robinson remembered the wise words of his father. After a period of feeling sorry for himself, he realized he actually had a really good life all by himself on his island. I read this book several times as a youngster, and it's a lesson I've never forgotten. Some quotes:
“I learned to look more upon the bright side of my condition, and less upon the dark side, and to consider what I enjoyed, rather than what I wanted : and this gave me sometimes such secret comforts, that I cannot express them ; and which I take notice of here, to put those discontented people in mind of it, who cannot enjoy comfortably what God has given them, because they see and covet something that he has not given them. All our discontents about what we want appeared to me to spring from the want of thankfulness for what we have.”
“It put me upon reflecting how little repining there would be among mankind at any condition of life, if people would rather compare their condition with those that were worse, in order to be thankful, than be always comparing them with those which are better, to assist their murmurings and complaining.”
“These reflections made me very sensible of the goodness of Providence to me, and very thankful for my present condition, with all its hardships and misfortunes ; and this part also I cannot but recommend to the reflection of those who are apt, in their misery, to say, Is any affliction like mine? Let them consider how much worse the cases of some people are, and their case might have been, if Providence had thought fit.”
“But how just it has been! And how should all men reflect, that when they compare their present conditions with others that are worse, Heaven may oblige them to make the exchange, and be convinced of their former felicity by their experience...”
cjwood:
craig, for my own part, jfk's post reply to pierdut was not so much about the "syrupy kisses" as it was john's statement that he could easily "hate" pierdut. and his calling out of those who's personality is more compassionate and merciful as fakes is just ridiculous. yes, we all need a swift kick in the butt craig and john, but i don't think the time to do it is when the person needing uplifting is down and in the dirt of despair. call it what you want, bottom line is it is unloving. i was reading through more of the old emails to ray last night and i never saw anywhere in his responses words such as jfk used towards pierdut, when people wrote him about the turmoil in their lives. he almost always said he would pray for them.
i just can't get onboard with anyone who says (especially publicly) they can easily hate another brother.
claudia
Dave in Tenn:
Conversion can be such an ugly process.
Pierdut:
--- Quote from: John from Kentucky on October 17, 2013, 06:02:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: cjwood on October 17, 2013, 03:06:34 PM ---craig, for my own part, jfk's post reply to pierdut was not so much about the "syrupy kisses" as it was john's statement that he could easily "hate" pierdut. and his calling out of those who's personality is more compassionate and merciful as fakes is just ridiculous. yes, we all need a swift kick in the butt craig and john, but i don't think the time to do it is when the person needing uplifting is down and in the dirt of despair. call it what you want, bottom line is it is unloving. i was reading through more of the old emails to ray last night and i never saw anywhere in his responses words such as jfk used towards pierdut, when people wrote him about the turmoil in their lives. he almost always said he would pray for them.
i just can't get onboard with anyone who says (especially publicly) they can easily hate another brother.
claudia
--- End quote ---
I am getting a strong impression that I won't be voted the BT Mr. Congeniality this year. :'( :'( :'(
Good thing the Kingdom of God is not a democracy.
Ray wrote an article called Why Does God Love You?
In that article, Ray wrote that God hates both sin and sinners. Ray quoted 14 Scriptures to support that God hates sinners. I agree with those Scriptures. One of those Scriptures is:
If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, God's curse be upon him. 1 Cor. 16:22 Moffatt Translation
In Pierdut's first post above, he states that he is filled with hopelessness and rage and a lust for physical things that others have. Pierdut questions if the next life (the Resurrection) exists and he states that he hopes it doesn't.
Pierdut also says that either God does not exist, or doesn't care and takes pleasure out of his suffering.
The statements made by Pierdut are not of the Spirit of God, and thus he is not my brother.
I won't tolerate such statements made by people in my presence. I will speak against them. That's just the way it is.
--- End quote ---
It is NOT physical 'things' that I 'lust for' or desire; neither money nor fame. If I were that materialistic then I would have been deserving of your scorn.
I don't take any pleasure in my suffering. If you meant that I said that God takes pleasure in my suffering, well, then, I don't know, that's what it seems like at times. And I believe I was asking a question not making an assertion.
I quess that scripture you quoted means that I was right about being cursed. I am not sure, but I think that it could be because God won't let me live the life I want(ed) to live, and thus wouldn't let me succeed while trying to live apart from him. I am trying to figure it out; am I cursed and therefore hopeless, or is there still hope for me? Although that would entail not only being willing to give up on some things, but also being able to actually do so. And as Ray has taught, I have no freewill, so, ultimately what God predetermined will come to pass; I'll just choose accordingly.
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