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To pastor Tony Smith at thewayofgodchurch.com
OBrenda:
Bradford,
Not having an detailed understanding of what issues, you have with your wife, there may be some instances when God may want or direct you to leave your wife. (If she was abusing the children) But your Brothers & Sisters here at BT respect the institution of marriage by God, and we are not to take sides and wedge ourselves in your marriage.
I appreciate the emotional hell you must be living in right now. And I can see that your struggling with this decision, even though you find scriptures you believe, justify you to leave her. You want to do what is right in the sight of God. And I respect that in you.
- Matthew 10:37-38 - He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me..........
My I share my walk through living this scripture?
A few years ago I lied to my husband about our credit card debt. He was out of work at the time and feeling very badly about himself. I was in an auto accident and had a brain injury that greatly impaired my judgement. I was taking care of the finances and they became out of control, I had to lie again and again to keep my secret. The fear that I lived with each day, brought me to not wanting to go home, not being able to stay in the same room for fear he would find out. I could feel resentment growing in my heart torward him, as I associated the stress and fear I felt for my sin with him.
I was afraid to loose him. I was ashamed. I was sinning and God wanted me to stop. So I had people here praying for me, and God spoke through some loved ones. I finally came to the point where I was willing to give up my Husband should he leave me, rather than living one more day in sin against God. That is what I believe the scripture above means.
Be willing to lose those around you, if the cost to keep them is Sin. We can't even control ourselves, to think we can control a wife is prideful. My Husband held me in his arms as I cried in shame. He is not a believer but he expressed Gods grace to me when I was obedient. Like Abraham and Issac I had to place my marriage on an alter to God willing to sacrifice it, to recognize God relationship to me was above all.
Remember these are lesson's in scripture in the natural to show us something in the Spiritual. Did you notice the end of this, Issac was saved and another sacrifice was presented in his place....
Have you gone to a quiet place to build an alter to God, are you willing to sacrifice your family to God, that spiritually means to let go of the illusion that you are in control of your family. Let go of the idol in your heart, that it is by your goodness, your will, your intellect that is to lead this family.
Speaking as a woman, we will only submit to our husband to the extent that we see the character of God operating in him. If you truly Love and Cherish your Wife and demonstrate it, with putting the family first, before your needs, in its season there is nothing that they wouldn't do for you. Wives, Husbands, and Children are not jewelry we wear around our necks so others can see how wonderful we are. And discared when they require some painful effort. They are here to teach us how to love like God loves......"while they were still in their Sins"
That is where God is leading you as a Man. In my leadership training that I received when I was in the Navy, the first thing they teach you is, you may be leading men to their deaths. Men will only willingly follow a leader into battle and possible death if they believe their leader is willing to also loose his life for them. Sound familiar?
I will pray for your family,
:) As I was typing this I saw your response,...
If we are to be imatators of Christ then how does this man walk in these scripture?
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do ...
Colossians 3:11
In him there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, or free person. Instead, the Messiah is all and in all. Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Be tolerant of one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, you also should forgive.
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which ties everything together in unity.
Your Sister in Christ in Unity in Love,
Brenda
NJKen:
Amen and thank you for everyone's responses!!! I have been separated from my wife and 7 year old daughter and living in my brother's dental office for the past 5 months because of my temper (flesh) not because of my wife's unbelief or not acknowledging me as the head of the family. Only God can open her eyes to the truth. I need to be an example to my family of the faith and trust I put in my "head", so in turn, they will put their faith and trust in their "head". As I once heard "A King never has to yell". So true!!! The more I let go of my family and turn them over to God, the more God shows me that I can trust him and put my faith in him. This fiery trial is first and foremost because all else is moot unless the order of the family is established. Whatever "issues" may be in our families, once the proper order of the family gets established, all else falls into place. This is the one "central" issue governing all other issues. My relationship with my family is in direct corelation to my relationship with God. If I have a lousy relationship with my family (which I do) I have a lousy relationship with God. Praise God for opening my eyes to the truth of my wickedness and foolishness!!!!! 2 Timothy 2:20-26; 1 Corinthians 3; Romans 11:30,31; Galations 1:24; 1 Peter 4:12-19. There have been many times over the course of the past 10 years that I have had the Egyptian army behind me and the Red Sea in front of me. I would stomp my foot, yell and complain. That is not the way for a "head" to show faith and trust to his "head". God has shown me his grace and mercy many times and it has been a slow and tedious process. But, as we know, we are not "saved" as Babylon once taught us, we are "being" saved by the grace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Ken
P.S. By the way, if anyone needs any Listerine (I have all the flavors) please let me know!!!!!! Ha! Ha!!
NJKen:
Bradford,
Psalms 46!!!!!! Victory, Victory, Victory!!!!!!!!!!! You do not have to "try" and be the "head". You are the "head". Submit to your "head" and your family will submit to their "head". Not easy, but, God will bring you there. Great responses from everyone!!!!!!
Ken-- How about dental floss, does anyone need some dental floss. Ha! Ha!
Kat:
Hi Bradford,
You are getting counsel from a minister of the church ??? You should weight very carefully the reasons behind leaving your wife and children, as something that seems right it your own eyes. That sin could be worse than your reason for leaving.
1Tim 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
v. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication (porneia - sexual immorality, immorality), and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
This Scripture does give those married to someone who comments sexual immoralities or is in an abusive situation a way out.
mercy, peace and love
Kat
Bradigans:
--- Quote from: OBrenda on August 17, 2008, 10:55:38 AM ---Bradford,
Not having an detailed understanding of what issues, you have with your wife, there may be some instances when God may want or direct you to leave your wife. (If she was abusing the children) But your Brothers & Sisters here at BT respect the institution of marriage by God, and we are not to take sides and wedge ourselves in your marriage.
I appreciate the emotional hell you must be living in right now. And I can see that your struggling with this decision, even though you find scriptures you believe, justify you to leave her. You want to do what is right in the sight of God. And I respect that in you.
- Matthew 10:37-38 - He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me..........
My I share my walk through living this scripture?
A few years ago I lied to my husband about our credit card debt. He was out of work at the time and feeling very badly about himself. I was in an auto accident and had a brain injury that greatly impaired my judgement. I was taking care of the finances and they became out of control, I had to lie again and again to keep my secret. The fear that I lived with each day, brought me to not wanting to go home, not being able to stay in the same room for fear he would find out. I could feel resentment growing in my heart torward him, as I associated the stress and fear I felt for my sin with him.
I was afraid to loose him. I was ashamed. I was sinning and God wanted me to stop. So I had people here praying for me, and God spoke through some loved ones. I finally came to the point where I was willing to give up my Husband should he leave me, rather than living one more day in sin against God. That is what I believe the scripture above means.
Be willing to lose those around you, if the cost to keep them is Sin. We can't even control ourselves, to think we can control a wife is prideful. My Husband held me in his arms as I cried in shame. He is not a believer but he expressed Gods grace to me when I was obedient. Like Abraham and Issac I had to place my marriage on an alter to God willing to sacrifice it, to recognize God relationship to me was above all.
Remember these are lesson's in scripture in the natural to show us something in the Spiritual. Did you notice the end of this, Issac was saved and another sacrifice was presented in his place....
Have you gone to a quiet place to build an alter to God, are you willing to sacrifice your family to God, that spiritually means to let go of the illusion that you are in control of your family. Let go of the idol in your heart, that it is by your goodness, your will, your intellect that is to lead this family.
Speaking as a woman, we will only submit to our husband to the extent that we see the character of God operating in him. If you truly Love and Cherish your Wife and demonstrate it, with putting the family first, before your needs, in its season there is nothing that they wouldn't do for you. Wives, Husbands, and Children are not jewelry we wear around our necks so others can see how wonderful we are. And discared when they require some painful effort. They are here to teach us how to love like God loves......"while they were still in their Sins"
That is where God is leading you as a Man. In my leadership training that I received when I was in the Navy, the first thing they teach you is, you may be leading men to their deaths. Men will only willingly follow a leader into battle and possible death if they believe their leader is willing to also loose his life for them. Sound familiar?
I will pray for your family,
:) As I was typing this I saw your response,...
If we are to be imatators of Christ then how does this man walk in these scripture?
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do ...
Colossians 3:11
In him there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, or free person. Instead, the Messiah is all and in all. Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Be tolerant of one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, you also should forgive.
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which ties everything together in unity.
Your Sister in Christ in Unity in Love,
Brenda
--- End quote ---
Amen, and God bless you dear sister.
IN HIS LOVE,
Bradford
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