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Silly Quotes

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Gill:
speaking of epitaphs,

Spike Milligan's, 'I told you I was ill' always gets me  :lol: .  And Zander, those football quotes are hilarious! 'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel' ...rofl

gmik:
:D These are great!!  Those footballers are funny- but I thought Beckham would be a tad more with it...

How about some Yogi Berra's??

Nobody goes there anymore, its too crowded.

Baseball is 90% mental, and the other half is physical.

Wow.  This is like deja vu all over again.

 :lol: Anyone know any good oxymorons???  like  Jumbo shrimp???

Sorin:
"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter


The Best one yet!    :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Thanks Isabell for the link.

Becky:
last night on "so you think you can dance"... i heard this:

"I exuberate fantasticism!"

Sorin:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover - Found on shin gaurds
Product not intended for dental use - Found on an electric rotary drill
Instructions: Open package, eat nuts - Found on a packet of airline peanuts
"Kills all kinds of insects!" Warning this spray is harmful to bees - On a can of bug spray
May irritate eyes - Found on a can of pepper spray
Contents flammable - On a can of lighter fluid
May contain small parts - Found on a frisbee---This one I really don't get
Do not use orally - Found on a toilet brush
Do not use on eyes - On heated seat cushion
Do not use for drying pets - Found in a microwave oven manual
Do not take if allergic to asprin - Found on an asprin bottle
Warning knives are sharp - Found on the package of a sharpening stone
Has been know to cause cancer in mice - Found on package of rat poison
Remove infant before folding for storage - Found on a stroller
Do not iron clothes on body - Found on the package of an iron
If swallowed promptly see doctor - Found on a package of batteries
For best results start with a clean bathtub before use - On bathroom cleaner
Do not use if you have prostate problems - Found on PMS medicine
Do not turn upside down - Found on bottom of dessert box
May contain nuts - Found on a package of peanuts
Misuse may cause injury or death - Found on the barrel of a .22 calibur rifle
Should not be used on fish - Found on a bottle of dog shampoo
Warning this product can burn eyes - Found on a curling iron

Best one EVER:
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals - Found in the manual for a Swedish Chainsaw

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